JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!
This Advent seems different to me after having visited the Holy Land this summer. As I contemplate the many rich scenes of Our Lord's Birth, I find myself transported back to the very place where He was born and remember our Saturday visit to Manger Square where we saw the Church & Grotto of the Nativity, the adjoining St. Catherine of Alexandria Church, the Milk Grotto, and Shepherd's Field where the Angel's Chapel marks the place where the angel announced the birth of Christ to the shepherds who were tending their flocks in silence.
This journey in person was undeniably filled with many graces, but I am acutely aware that my heart continues to wander through the hills and high desert of Israel as I seek spiritual rebirth in my soul to experience Christ's full presence at the crib in Bethlehem in that cave. I am not sure that this profound metanoia will correspond with the arrival of Christmas day fully, as I am acutely aware of various prickly pears, rattlesnakes, and poison berries that abound in my own soul with a variety of temptations and sins rearing their ugly heads, along with a good dose of spiritual dehydration to boot. Now, don't get me wrong. I am not mentioning this to indulge my melancholy. In fact, I view it as a positive sign that the journey of purification within that is so very necessary as a Carmelite is seemingly well underway.
It was a relief to find a poem by Jessica Powers about this very journey of the soul, which follows the path of darkness so eloquently expressed by our mystic and founding father St. John of the Cross. Of this journey she states,
This is a pure Gobi desert, you declare; I see, past sandstorms (of exaggeration)...Pure, desert, you complain, though now you walk who once had shuffled through the arid miles. Sighting a day of flight, I shelve my smiles and share your pilgrim talk.
All true ascesis as a desert lies: hot wind, hot sand, no water, and no way. The ego agonizes through each day, Freedom is when it dies. I coax you onward: soon, first breeze of bliss; soon, sun that scorches cooled to sun that warms. Your youth will dance when shady lanes lock arms with each green oasis.
The good news is that just as the Blessed Virgin and St. Joseph could not see what was ahead for them during their journey towards Bethlehem and were forced to trust in the Divine Providence of God, so must we trust Our Father who is with His children, and always makes a path and provides a means to shelter us beneath His wings. He allows the unexpected to surprise and delight us and it is always more perfect that we could ever have imagined it! The story of Jesus' birth underscores this again and again, with a joyful surprise awaiting all. This completed journey and profound gift of new life as seen in the birth of Baby Jesus, our Savior, can be realized within our very souls on a micro-level if we allow for it. If we let go, and walk through the Valley of Darkness towards that Grotto of Life Itself, we will be transformed and eventually spy the subtle glimmers of light from our Divine Star, our Divine Guide.
In The Hidden Christ, Jessica Powers expresses this reality so beautifully as follows:
I sought His stable where He gave His goodness in the guise of bread.Emptiness came to me instead.
filled with my Father's words, I cried "Where have You hid Yourself?" and all The living answered to my call.
I found Him (and the world is wide) dear in His warm ubiquity.Where heart beat, there was Christ for me."
I went back to the Christmas cave, glad with the gain of everywhere. And lo! the blessed Child was there. He multiplied His good and fed in me the multitude.
May we continue the journey until it is complete. Amen.
