As we continue to traverse this time of uncertainty, we become aware of the importance of healthy, open,and respectful communication. Communication is the building block of all human relationships, and most certainly the foundation of prayer. Without a sharing between persons, or between an individual and God, we cannot know one another nor truly enter into the interiority of the other. Bees communicate with a waggle dance, bats and whales with echolocation, but we as persons utilize our words and bodies to transmit our ideas, wants, needs and inner-most feelings and desires to the other. This is how we become known and understood,and reciprocate this mutual knowledge and understanding to and with the other.
How appropriate that this year and decade in the Hebrew calendar [Year 5780] is associated with the open mouth or 'pey'. This 17th letter in the Hebrew alphabet consists of two other letters kaf and yod, which refers to a spoon and a divine spark respectively. This is indicative of God within the soul who creates a spark that is then spoken from the open mouth. Having said that, it is imperative that each of us is careful to discern when to speak and when to remain silent.
As Carmelites, we start with a spirit of inner quiet and humility in order to LISTEN first. Just as Our Lady is depicted by the Church Fathers and in the Middle Ages as having received the overshadowing of the Holy Spirit through her ear canal- her listening- so are we to be attentive first to what Our Lord tells us in the deepest recesses of our hearts, through Scripture and prayer, and then to what our brothers and sisters, our family members, and others are wanting to share with us through words, body language, facial expressions, etc. Listening and observing is an art form that is in need of some revamping, certainly in my own life. Before the open mouth, let me open my ears and eyes. Let me hear the voice of the Good Shepherd who "calls his own sheep by name and leads them..."[Jn 10:3] And with my neighbor, let my ear be "attentive to wisdom" inclining my heart to understanding.[Proverbs 2:2] Let me go out into the desert as so many of the prophets of old did along with Jesus Himself, and hear the voice of God, chew on it, discern it, incorporate it into my heart and life.
After listening attentively in a spirit of prayer and openness, we might be called to speak or we might not. Right now, we hear many hurting people hurling words at one another in a spirit of frustration, anger, fear, and sometimes even hatred. Sirach 28:17 tells us, "A blow of a whip raises a welt, but a blow of the tongue crushes the bones." When we are angry and not in control of our passions, this is a time to be quiet or to pause and suggest that we speak at a time when calmness prevails. Yes, we can be passionate, zealous, and desire in the deepest recesses of our beings to speak truth in love, but it does no good if one or both parties is not open to receive.
St. James is very clear regarding taming the tongue in the third chapter of his letter. He does not mince words:
"And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is an unrighteous world among
our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the cycle of nature,and
set on fire by hell...No human bring can tame the tongue - a restless evil,
full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse
men, who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing
and cursing. My brethren, this ought not to be so. [James 3:6,8-10]
We see dialogue and conversation throughout Scriptures. In the Old Testament we have the beautiful duet between the bride and bridegroom in the Song of Songs. We also see this language of the beloved for one in the Book of Tobit. In the Gospels, Jesus teaches and speaks with his followers as well as his opponents. There is a spirit of open dialogue present, even when not in agreement or in being profoundly misunderstood. Jesus always offers an invitation for change, metanoia, truth to be known.
I learned last Fall that the etymology of the word "conversation' has a deep meaning that can shed some light on this. Its Latin root refers to a place of habitation or a home where one shares a common life with another. It implies a "living with" or an interior desire to mutually know and receive the other in learning their true selves and identity and doing so in a welcoming posture where both can reside together. It refers to inward communion with God as well as our neighbor. In St.Paul's Letter to the Philippians, he used this term as follows, "Our conversation [our true home] is in heaven" [Phil 3:20]. This word was only more recently adapted in French and English languages to mean "talking to", but still holds this sense of wanting to discover and live in accordance with another.
On the other hand, the root of "discussion" is 'discutere' which translates as 'dashing to pieces'. It is not a coming together, but instead a clash of adversaries who wish to judge or examine an issue by argument. Now there are times and places when falsehoods must be dispelled. There is no doubt about this. But what I am concerned about is people speaking past one another, seeking to shatter one another into tiny broken shards and pieces to the point where no repair is possible. This is not constructive, but destructive. Anything with fruits of division and destruction are not of God.
And so this brings us back to St. James. He tells us,"The wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle,open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, without uncertainty or insincerity. And the harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." [James 3:17-18] He advises us,"Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger." He goes on to explain that after adopting this attitude and set of interior dispositions, then we can move forward and be not only hearers of the word, but doers of the word. Yes, even possibly speakers of the word of truth. But not before my tongue is tamed, my passions stilled, my heart open to Our Lord, and my shoes shod in the gospel of peace. Then we can perhaps achieve what was written by St. Pope John Paul II in Et Unum Sint #28,"Dialogue is not simply an exchange of ideas. In some ways it is always an exchange of gifts." May it be so. Amen.
