There are a few thoughts that have been percolating within recently regarding the gift of the Holy Eucharist, especially after reading Bread that is Broken by Wilfrid Stinissen, ocd and studying the recent Apostolic exhortation written by Bishop Olmsted of Phoenix, AZ entitled Venermur Cernui-Down in Adoration Falling.
There are so many things to ponder. I will share with you some deep questions that I keep praying on:
1. Am I allowing the Eucharist to truly transform me deeply, completely, in every area of my life? Stinissen writes in his book mentioned above that, "The bread and the wine represent the whole cosmos, but first of all ourselves, who are to be transformed...God is the great Transformer. But He transforms only what we give him." Am I holding anything back? Where do I still have a 'Do not enter' sign, while the Lord continues to knock at the door of my heart? Do I allow my ego, plans, and very self to become crushed grapes and wheat in order to be transformed and offered to God and others?
2. Upon receiving this gift and allowing increasing degrees of interior transformation [hopefully], am I becoming food for others? Am I nourishing and nurturing others on their journey? Am I a source of healthy energy, movement, light, life, growth and strength? St. Leo the Great said, "For the effect of our sharing in the body and blood of Christ is to change us into what we receive. As we have died with Him, and have been buried and raised to life with him, so we bear him within us, both in body and in spirit, in everything we do." I must continue to ask myself if I am offering myself as meal for others in the spirit of Jesus Christ.
3. Fulton Sheen tells us, "We become like that which we gaze upon. Looking into a sunset the face takes on a golden glow. Looking at the Eucharistic Lord for an hour transforms the heart in a mysterious way." We begin to resemble what or who we spend time looking at. Couples begin to look increasingly alike over the course of their years spent together as they gaze into one another's eyes. As they encounter each other face to face entering into their beloved's shared reality, they gift each other with their presence in a spirit of compassion and empathy whether it be in silence or conversation. They begin to reflect one another, mirror the other's smiles, expressions, body language, eyes, and even wrinkles. And so it is with Our Eucharistic King. The more we gaze upon His Eucharistic Face, the more we increasingly resemble Him. Am I placing myself before Him without any masks, seeking to be fully spiritually naked before Him and more deeply discovering Him every time I come before Him?
4. In adoration [in adoratio] am I mouth to mouth with Jesus, as the root word suggests? Is there an exchange of breath, a receiving of His life force, a kiss between Jesus as the Lover and myself as the beloved? Am I allowing intimacy, closeness, and depth in the relationship?
5. Am I a paten for Our Lord Jesus to lay His weary head? Even amidst my many weaknesses, do I offer myself as a place of support for Jesus who is so cruelly treated and remains unknown and misunderstood?
5. Can I offer myself as an empty chalice for Christ to pour Himself into in order to receive the water of His humanity, mingled with the wine changed into "the crimson blood of love, and lifted up in sacrifice." [Reed of God, Caryll Houselander] The emptier the vessel that I become, the more He can fill me and increase my capacity to be His vessel of Divine Love and Mercy. By surrendering to this, He can mold me into a Christ-bearer, a walking tabernacle giving birth to Christ in the world.
These meanderings of reflection questions are presented to encourage your own Eucharistic adventures with Our Eucharistic Lord and all the ways that He wants to reveal Himself to you as Bridegroom in the sacrament of the Altar.
In closing, I just found this beautiful poem written by St. Therese that captures some of these very desires. Here are just a few of the stanzas :
My Desires Near Jesus Hidden in His Prison of Love .
At each daybreak I envy you,
O Sacred Altar Stone! As in the blessed stable,
On you the Eternal One wants to be born ...
Ah! Deign to grant my prayer.
Come into my soul, Sweet Savior ...
Far from being a cold stone,
It is the sigh of your Heart!
O Corporal surrounded by angels!
How enviable is your lot.
On you, as in his humble swaddling clothes,
I see Jesus, my only treasure.
Virgin Mary, change my heart
Into a pure, beautiful Corporal
To receive the white host,
Where your Sweet Lamb hides.
Holy Paten, I envy you.
Upon you Jesus comes to rest.
Oh! may his infinite grandeur
Deign to humble itself even to me ...
Fulfilling my hope, Jesus
Does not wait until the evening of my life.
He comes within me; by his presence
I am a living Monstrance! ...
Oh! how I envy the happy chalice
Where I adore the divine Blood ...
But at the Holy Sacrifice
I can take it in each morning.
To Jesus my soul is dearer
Than precious vessels of gold.
The Altar is a new Calvary
Where his Blood still flows for me ...
O Sacred Altar Stone! As in the blessed stable,
On you the Eternal One wants to be born ...
Ah! Deign to grant my prayer.
Come into my soul, Sweet Savior ...
Far from being a cold stone,
It is the sigh of your Heart!
O Corporal surrounded by angels!
How enviable is your lot.
On you, as in his humble swaddling clothes,
I see Jesus, my only treasure.
Virgin Mary, change my heart
Into a pure, beautiful Corporal
To receive the white host,
Where your Sweet Lamb hides.
Holy Paten, I envy you.
Upon you Jesus comes to rest.
Oh! may his infinite grandeur
Deign to humble itself even to me ...
Fulfilling my hope, Jesus
Does not wait until the evening of my life.
He comes within me; by his presence
I am a living Monstrance! ...
Oh! how I envy the happy chalice
Where I adore the divine Blood ...
But at the Holy Sacrifice
I can take it in each morning.
To Jesus my soul is dearer
Than precious vessels of gold.
The Altar is a new Calvary
Where his Blood still flows for me ...
