5 Steps of Increased Intimacy with the Sacred Heart of Jesus

JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!

This month of June is always dedicated to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and tomorrow is this special feast day.  I have enjoyed a special devotion to Our Lord's Most Sacred Heart for some time and meditated on various aspects of Jesus' Most Merciful Heart.   Recently, Jesus helped me to put together several different interactions between His Heart and mine into a five-step prayer of increased intimacy with Him that I wish to share. 

The five steps are as follows:

1st: Lean
2nd: Listen
3rd: Look
4th: Let yourself be Loved
5th: Lean

The first step is to lean into His Most Sacred Heart.  

Imagine you are sitting with Jesus who is sitting behind you with His arms wrapped around you. You are in a place of perfect repose. You are safe and the back of your head is resting on His Sacred heart. He has wrapped you in His cloak, as you sit under an almond tree.  Your breathing is slow and measured. You are perfectly at rest in His peace which surpasses all understanding.  You are completely safe and secure in His loving arms, hearing His gentle voice repeatedly telling you, “I am here my beloved, and I love you with a never-ending love. I shall never leave you orphaned. I am with you always until the end of days.”

You continue to breathe deeply and receive His Divine Infinite Love & Mercy.  You continue to hear his breathing, and listen to His gentle voice which assures you that He never leaves your side. He invites you to take a handful of sand that is on the ground surrounding you both. You cup the sand into your hand, and while releasing it you say to Jesus, “Here I am Lord, I come to do your Will.”  Like the sands of the hourglass, you watch the granules of sand leave your hands and land where they may on the ground.  You pick up another handful and repeat the same words, “Here I am Lord, I come to do your Will.”   Afterwards, you listen to Jesus whisper in your ear, “I am here my beloved, and I love you with a never-ending love. I shall never leave you orphaned. I am with you always until the end of days.”

You receive these words of love into your heart, and then grant Him your surrender. “Here I am Lord, I come to do your Will.”  You feel the tension and anxiety leaving your body, from the top of your head, to the tips of your toes.  You experience the tension melting away as you melt into His arms and trust more fully in His Love and divine plans for you.  You continue this ebb and flow of love safe in Jesus’ arms, in total and complete surrender to your Beloved King, who desires all that is good for you, who died for you, and wants to heal you and make all things new. 

Repeat and enter into this mystery of love. 


St.John resting on the Breast of Jesus [image taken from 
https://www.markmallett.com/blog/in-the-footsteps-of-st-john/]

The second step is to listen to His heartbeats.  This requires you to turn around from leaning against His chest with your back to Him in order to lean into His breast as the beloved Apostle John did at the Last Supper.  As you recline against His Sacred Heart, you hear His heartbeats which beat in perfect rhythm.  His heartbeats are calm and peaceful. His heart seems to communicate harmonies of love for your broken heart, disappointments, failures, challenges and sorrows.  While reposing upon Jesus' breast, Jesus hears the rhythm of your heart as well- your desires, dreams, hopes and plans. He invites you to take turns in listening to one another's heartbeats, in a spirit of sharing together and being known, loved, and understood.  

As He places you into the calm cadence of His inner heart, you then become open in allowing Jesus to lean in and listen to the inner sanctuary of your own heartbeats.   In this vulnerability, He listens to your heart and as Divine Physician ensures all pathways to it are open.  For those areas that are wounded and result in rapid heartbeats due to anxiety, fear, or need to control he calms you and assures you that He is with you and present.  If your heartbeat is slow due to depression, sloth or hopelessness, His Sacred Heart becomes an interior pacemaker to increase the flow of love, mercy and healing which He wishes to share with you.   With each heartbeat He invites us to allow Him to arrange our lives and for His Divine plans to unfold in their perfect timing.  Not too fast and not too slow.  This rhythm in the cave of our hearts allows a symphony of love. It is a surrendering into His plans by permitting your heartbeats to enter into the tempo of His Sacred Heart in trusting abandonment to His Divine Will.

The third step is to look.  Look at Jesus and enter into His merciful gaze.  When you turn around and face Jesus and His Most Sacred Heart, you discover Him as your Beloved- the Divine Bridegroom who seeks to draw you into His Sacred Heart and to live in spousal union and communion with you.  Just look at Him and experience the love that is transmitted from His Sacred Heart as communicated through His eyes that are full of compassion.  Try not to look away or to hide.  He wants to be face to face with you. He wants to share everything with you and for you to know and love Him the way that He knows and loves you. 

Imagine yourself with no masks on under His gaze.   He delights in you and wants to interact with you face to face.  St. Teresa of Avila strongly advised her sisters in the Way of Perfection to represent Jesus close to you as a friend at your side. “I tried as hard as I could to keep Jesus Christ, our God and our Lord, present within me, and that was my way of prayer…I’m not asking you to do anything more than look at Him....He is always looking at you; can you not turn the eyes of your soul to look at Him?”

His gaze is where we find healing in our identities and become increasingly transformed into Him. It is in His Gaze that the desires of His Sacred Heart are revealed and that we learn who He is, who we are, and how to love.  As Ven. Fulton Sheen said, "We become like that which we gaze upon. Looking into a sunset, the face takes on a golden glow. Looking at the Eucharistic Lord for an hour transforms the heart in a mysterious way as the face of Moses was transformed after his companionship with God on the mountain."

The fourth step is to let yourself be loved.  Under His Gaze we are drawn into the magnetic love of His Sacred Heart.  He wants you to receive the fullness of His Love for you and not to reject it out of feelings and lies of unworthiness, doubt, and weakness.  He knows all this and yet He wants to tell you that you are loved with a unique and tender love emanating from His Sacred Heart just for you.  St. Elizabeth of the Trinity, ocd writes to her prioress Mother Germaine just before her death that Jesus just desired that she allow herself to be loved by Him in order that He could build her up in His grace and merciful love for His glory.  She tells her, "The fidelity that the Master asks of you is to remain in communion with Love, flow into, be rooted in this Love who wants to mark your soul with the seal of His power and grandeur." She assures her that even when she feels "oppression and lassitude, you will please Him even more if you faithfully believe that He is still working , that He is loving you just the same and even more: Because His love is free and that is how He wants to be magnified in you..."  Surrender yourself to the desires of His Sacred Heart which pulsates with a radical love for you and every one of God's children.  Cast away any doubt that He is indifferent or lacks an infinite love for you.  This is impossible. He is Love itself and this is why He came.  

The fifth step is leaning once again into Jesus, but this time face to face.  You are now under His gaze, and have let yourself be loved.  He wants to be Heart to heart with you, Face to face.  Allow yourself to expose and offer your wounded heart into His own lacerated Merciful heart.  He can then assume your wounds into the perfect sacrifice of His Wounded Sacred Heart and side where the blood and water gushed forth in a torrent of grace and mercy.  Jesus does not hide His wounds, but instead they are glorified.  He wants to see our wounds and for you to share your wounds as well as your gifts with Him in order that all may become transfigured and transformed for the Glory of the Holy Three.  He wishes for you to lean deeply into His heart, breast to breast, in order that you may enter this furnace of Divine Love.  He will console you and you can console Him. Deeply embedded in the chambers of His Sacred Heart, He can heal you and make all things new.  By being united with His Most Sacred Heart in a symphony of openness, light, and vulnerability, He will bring you deeper towards the source of the All, the Most Holy Trinity. 

His Sacred Heart is the narrow gate.  Let us say 'yes' to Jesus' overtures that we approach His Sacred Heart in childlike trust so that we can share our wounds and experience a full metanoia of heart.  Let us enter within the chambers of His Love to share an exchange of love, heart to heart. This process of turning our bodies in this five step process to encounter His Heart on increasingly deeper levels will lead to what appears in Scripture as epistrepho - a turning from sin and then a turning towards God in our daily living.  Let us approach Him with praise and thanksgiving and in this loving intimacy receive his merciful love, forgiveness, kindness and compassion.  We are safe in the eternal Heart of our Beloved Jesus.  St.Paul reminds is that, “God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead through our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ... raised us up with him, and made us sit with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus” (Eph 2:4-6)

So let us approach His Most Sacred Heart with confidence and together with Him:

♥Lean. 
♥Listen. 
♥Look. 
♥Let yourself be Loved.
♥Lean again.

The Indwelling & Becoming Eucharistic Food

JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!

Today on the Feast Day of Corpus Christi, I am aware of a renewed sense of profound gratitude for the sublime gift of Jesus Himself in the Eucharist after undergoing the deprivation of not being able to receive Our Lord for more than two months during the Covid-19 pandemic.  Oh, how I missed the King of my heart during those long weeks, but how He also stoked a renewed awareness of the Divine Indwelling within me.  He kept whispering to me throughout those long days not to forget that "the Kingdom of God is within" and that He never leaves us orphaned.  These are His promises.  He builds this Trinitarian Indwelling within each one of us using the Eucharist as the foundation, as a "living stone" that enables perpetual adoration within the altar of one's heart. Just like Brother Lawrence tells us in the Practice of the Presence of God, "We do not have to go to Church to be with God. We can make our hearts an oratory where we can withdraw from time to time to converse with him there, gently, humbly, and lovingly." [Letter 9]  This of course is hard to do in the midst of missing our Beloved so very much, but certainly not impossible as we abide in Him and in His Word. [See https://carmelphoenix.blogspot.com/2012/11/celebrating-indwelling-with-bl.html]

Indeed, all daily happenings direct us to God and draw us to Him. Nothing is wasted.  Even those weeks of being without the Mass and the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus Christ were a time of stirring the strongest desires of my heart for deeper union and communion with Him, and a longing to receive what perhaps I had taken for granted so many times.  In the midst of my thirst, He was calling me closer to Himself in the center of my soul where He resides, and where only He can slake this unquenchable desire for eternal food. Day in and day out there was an opportunity for interior encounter as I fasted from physically being able to receive Him from the hands of the priest, but was invited to more intently enter into the silent sanctuary within my heart.

Now fast forward a few weeks later into a semi-restored rhythm of sacramental life, and the invitation and call is deepening to be as 'zakar'-a remembering one.  Remember what life was like without His eucharistic presence, and remember all that He has done for me all the days of my life to this very moment. Recall His goodness, mercy, and kindness and seek to strive , be transformed into His very likeness by becoming what we eat.  Like St. Leo the Great said, "For the effect of our sharing in the body and blood of Christ is to change us into what we receive. As we have died with Him, and have been buried and raised to life with Him, so we bear him within us, both in body and in spirit, in everything we do."

So how do we imitate Our Master in becoming food for others and ensuring that we receive Jesus with the proper respect and love that He deserves? I believe that the key is found in the concept of light. This is because everything that we eat has its origin in light which provides energy for plants to grow and all the means by which all of creation and humanity itself is sustained. "Let there be light." were the first words of creation. Jesus told His disciples, "I am the light of the world" [Jn 8:12]. In the Nicene Creed we identify Jesus as "God from God, Light from Light, true God from True God."  In the Eucharist, Jesus nourishes our deepest spirits through His Divine Light empowered by the Holy Spirit. At Holy Mass, He beckons us towards Him like a magnet, "While you have the Light, believe in the Light, so that you may become sons of light."  [Jn 12:36]. 

Just as light transforms green plants and leaves into light energy which is captured and then used to convert water, carbon dioxide, and minerals into oxygen and other energy-rich organic compounds in the process of photosynthesis, so must we receive the Eucharist into our hearts and allow the process of heating up our hearts in the Rays of the Son to allow for internal change, purification, and illumination. If we receive Him with openness, attentiveness and surrender, He gifts us with the nourishment and energy we need to become the children of the light He calls us to be. We are assumed into Him and become grafted into His interior life, which enables us to be transformed into a container of Jesus' Divine Essence as well as food for others we encounter on the journey. Jesus as the Light is welcomed within and begets more light. This light produces energy and food that can then be blessed, broken, and shared with others.

Where there is Light there is life, truth, and the radiance of God. Pope Benedict XVI tells us that "In the Biblical message, light is the most immediate image of God. He is total Radiance, Life, Truth, Light...The resurrection of Jesus is an eruption of Light, the tomb is thrown open. The Risen One Himself is Light, the Light of the world. With the Resurrection, the Lord's day enters into the nights of history."

St. Pope John Paul II tells us when celebrating a solemn Mass to institute the Year of the Eucharist in 2008,

Mystery of light! The human heart, oppressed by sin, often disoriented, tired and burdened by all sorts of suffering, needs light. The world, too, needs light in its difficult search for a seemingly distant peace at the beginning of a new millennium distressed and humiliated by violence, terrorism and war.

The Eucharist is light! In the Word of God constantly proclaimed, bread and wine become the body and blood of Christ. It is He, the resurrected Lord, who opens minds and hearts. When the bread is broken, He lets Himself be recognised as did the two disciples in Emmaus.

In his ENCYCLICAL LETTER ECCLESIA DE EUCHARISTIA, he reiterates this call to become as light, food, and sacrament for others:

By its union with Christ, the People of the New Covenant, far from closing in upon itself, becomes a “sacrament” for humanity,³⁹ a sign and instrument of the salvation achieved by Christ, the light of the world and the salt of the earth (cf. Mt 5:13-16), for the redemption of all.⁴⁰ The Church's mission stands in continuity with the mission of Christ: “As the Father has sent me, even so I send you” (Jn 20:21). From the perpetuation of the sacrifice of the Cross and her communion with the body and blood of Christ in the Eucharist, the Church draws the spiritual power needed to carry out her mission. The Eucharist thus appears as both the source and the summit of all evangelization, since its goal is the communion of mankind with Christ and in him with the Father and the Holy Spirit.⁴¹

How our own hearts, homes, communities, nation, and world need this light. Let us approach this beautiful Sacrament of Light with open hearts, minds, hands, eyes and ears to receive Him who is the refulgence of light itself, and  desires to make  us partakers in His Light and become as food- nourishing, life-giving,  and a source of breath and blessing for others. Amen. 

Spirit-filled Dialogue and Conversation as a Means to Heal

JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!

As we continue to traverse this time of uncertainty, we become aware of the importance of healthy, open,and respectful communication.  Communication is the building block of all human relationships, and most certainly the foundation of prayer.  Without a sharing between persons, or between an individual and God, we cannot know one another nor truly enter into the interiority of the other.  Bees communicate with a waggle dance, bats and whales with echolocation, but we as persons utilize our words and bodies to transmit our ideas, wants, needs and inner-most feelings and desires to the other.  This is how we become known and understood,and reciprocate this mutual knowledge and understanding to and with the other.  

How appropriate that this year and decade in the Hebrew calendar [Year 5780] is associated with the open mouth or 'pey'. This 17th letter in the Hebrew alphabet consists of two other letters kaf and yod, which refers to a spoon and a divine spark respectively. This is indicative of God within the soul who creates a spark that is then spoken from the open mouth. Having said that, it is imperative that each of us is careful to discern when to speak and when to remain silent.   



As Carmelites, we start with a spirit of inner quiet and humility in order to LISTEN first. Just as Our Lady is depicted by the Church Fathers and in the Middle Ages as having received the overshadowing of the Holy Spirit through her ear canal- her listening- so are we to be attentive first to what Our Lord tells us in the deepest recesses of our hearts, through Scripture and prayer, and then to what our brothers and sisters, our family members, and others are wanting to share with us through words, body language, facial expressions, etc.  Listening and observing is an art form that is in need of some revamping, certainly in my own life. Before the open mouth, let me open my ears and eyes.  Let me hear the voice of the Good Shepherd who "calls his own sheep by name and leads them..."[Jn 10:3] And with my neighbor, let my ear be "attentive to wisdom" inclining my heart to understanding.[Proverbs 2:2] Let me go out into the desert as so many of the prophets of old did along with Jesus Himself, and hear the voice of God, chew on it, discern it, incorporate it into my heart and life.


After listening attentively in a spirit of prayer and openness, we might be called to speak or we might not.  Right now, we hear many hurting people hurling words at one another in a spirit of frustration, anger, fear, and sometimes even hatred.  Sirach 28:17 tells us, "A blow of a whip raises a welt, but a blow of the tongue crushes the bones." When we are angry and not in control of our passions, this is a time to be quiet or to pause and suggest that we speak at a time when calmness prevails.  Yes, we can be passionate, zealous, and desire in the deepest recesses of our beings to speak truth in love, but it does no good if one or both parties is not open to receive.  



St. James is very clear regarding taming the tongue in the third chapter of his letter. He does not mince words:

"And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is an unrighteous world among 
our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the cycle of nature,and 
set on fire by hell...No human bring can tame the tongue - a restless evil,
full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse 
men, who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing 
and cursing. My brethren, this ought not to be so. [James 3:6,8-10]

We see dialogue and conversation throughout Scriptures.  In the Old Testament we have the beautiful duet between the bride and bridegroom in the Song of Songs.  We also see this language of the beloved for one in the Book of Tobit.  In the Gospels, Jesus teaches and  speaks with his followers as well as his opponents.  There is a spirit of open dialogue present, even when not in agreement or in being profoundly misunderstood.  Jesus always offers an invitation for change, metanoia, truth to be known.  

I learned last Fall that the etymology of the word "conversation' has a deep meaning that can shed some light on this.  Its Latin root refers to a place of habitation or a home where one shares a common life with another. It implies a "living with" or an interior desire to mutually know and receive the other in learning their true selves and identity and doing so in a welcoming posture where both can reside together.  It refers to inward communion with God as well as our neighbor. In St.Paul's Letter to the Philippians, he used this term as follows, "Our conversation [our true home] is in heaven"  [Phil 3:20]. This word was only more recently adapted in French and English languages to mean "talking to", but still holds this sense of wanting to discover and live in accordance with another.

On the other hand, the root of "discussion" is 'discutere' which translates as 'dashing to pieces'. It is not a coming together, but instead a clash of adversaries who wish to judge or examine an issue by argument.  Now there are times and places when falsehoods must be dispelled. There is no doubt about this. But what I am concerned about is people speaking past one another, seeking to shatter one another into tiny broken shards and pieces to the point where no repair is possible.  This is not constructive, but destructive.  Anything with fruits of division and destruction are not of God.  

And so this brings us back to St. James.  He tells us,"The wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle,open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, without uncertainty or insincerity. And the harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." [James 3:17-18] He advises us,"Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger."  He goes on to explain that after adopting this attitude and set of interior dispositions, then we can move forward and be not only hearers of the word, but doers of the word. Yes, even possibly speakers of the word of truth. But not before my tongue is tamed, my passions stilled, my heart open to Our Lord, and my shoes shod in the gospel of peace. Then we can perhaps achieve what was written by St. Pope John Paul II in Et Unum Sint #28,"Dialogue is not simply an exchange of ideas. In some ways it is always an exchange of gifts."   May it be so. Amen.

Dispelling the Spirit of Fear & and the Spirit of Division in Times of Crisis

JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!

We can all agree that we are living in unusual times, perhaps even unprecedented ones.  In the midst of a global pandemic, economic free fall, and racial and social injustices it is natural to experience angst.  Uncertainty rules the day and it is evident that we are in a change of epoch of sorts. Only God knows where this will lead each of us to or what that will look like for the world. Such an era requires deepening radical faith in the midst of so many unknowns, and it requires vigilance to safeguard our hearts from falling into the snares of the Enemy who wishes to sow seeds of terror, confusion, hatred, darkness and division.  I would like to share two step-by-step interior exercises that I believe were inspired by the Holy Spirit and which have helped me to keep calm and carry on [most of the time!:-) in seeking to do the Will of the Father, with Jesus and the Holy Spirit at my side.

Dispelling the Spirit of Fear


Regarding the spirit of fear which is rampantly tearing apart individual hearts, homes, families, workplaces, churches, communities, and entire nations - this is not of God.  St.Paul tells us in his second Letter to Timothy that "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of sound mind." [2 Tim 1:7] Almost a year ago, Our Lord gave me the following 4-step offering which I render to him every morning usually while still in bed upon awakening.  I call it CEEC.

1.Consent: to all that God has for me this day, all that has happened in my past, and all that He desires to do with me and in my life in the future. It is a full surrender with no wrestling matches allowed!   

2. Embrace: Don't just resign yourself to God's plans or permissive will, but embrace and kiss all of it, even the crosses, recognizing everything as a grace and a gift. 

3. Entrust: I entrust myself to Our Lady who is completely docile to the Holy Spirit, the Holy Trinity. If I am having difficulties I tell her, "Bl. Mother, the little girl in me is having a meltdown of sorts..a tantrum actually. It is quite ugly, but I am leaving her in your hands and I know that you will calm her, help to form and shape her, and teach her your virtues.  Good luck!" 

Consecration: I consecrate myself to the Most Holy Trinity through the Immaculate Heart and Womb of Our Lady. I ask that my life belongs to them and I pray that I may complete His mission for me before I die.  This brings me a lot of peace and it grounds me. I keep asking what He desires for me to do during this time and how I can best serve Him and others this very moment, this very day.  I revisit this 4 step process throughout the day, especially when things get particularly tough and I find myself resisting His grace or overthinking and analyzing the situation.  

Dispelling the Spirit of Anger & Division

The second spirit terrorizing our homes and nation is division. People are angry, upset, and tired of the brokenness.  Much of this is justified and justifiable, but must be handled with delicate care and mindfulness as to how best carry out our mission as Christians while speaking the truth with love and for the opportunity for change to take root.  

Jesus recently brought me to John's Gospel chapter 20 regarding how we should interact with one another in any given situation. In this Gospel passage which is always read on Divine Mercy Sunday, we see that the apostles are all hunkered down in a spirit of fear in the upper room.  They are filled with remorse for their own cowardice, uncertainty for the future, and the utmost grief that their Master and Lord, who was the long-awaited Messiah, is dead.  First, we see how Jesus goes right through the walls and bunkers that their hearts have constructed within.  They cannot lock Him out, no matter how hard they try. He is there and He is present in the midst of their struggles, anxieties, fears and divisions.

The first thing He does upon appearing to them - Jesus offers them the oldest of Jewish greetings, "Shalom!" "Peace be with you!"  He doesn't shout, he doesn't guilt and shame them for their complete failure to stand by Him in His hour of need. Nope. He simply offers peace. Then he breathes on them, the breath of life, the Spirit who gives life and washes away sin.  He speaks of forgiveness. After a period of time, he returns to the same upper room and shows them His wounds, specifically to Thomas who was not there the first time and missed the whole thing.  

The Holy Spirit showed me how this whole encounter between the Apostles and Jesus teaches us how to live and interact with others. It is most especially appropriate when we are hurting and need to get some clarity, growth, healing and truth in a relationship with another.  Note to self - bursting into a room screaming and shouting does not qualify as Christ-like!  No. First, we encounter the other in a spirit of peace and shalom with our shoes shod in the gospel of a spirit of peace. [See Eph 6:15]  Next, we seek to forgive and loosen the chains and bonds that enslave us.  We let go.  We breathe. Even if we are not feeling it, we seek with the will to forgive the other. Then, we show our wounds. We can say to one another: "See, I love you which is why I am here. I am hurting. Let me show you my wounds. Maybe you would like to show me your wounds." 

Let's come together in a spirit of peace and life-giving breath, seeking forgiveness, and then we can show each other our wounds. We can dialogue and talk about how badly this hurts and see what we can do to assuage the pain that we have caused one another.  By following these steps as lived out by Jesus in Divine Mercy: 1. Offer Peace/Shalom; 2. Breath of calm and forgiveness; and then 3. Show one another our wounds, I pray we can dispel the spirits of fear and strife and live out Jesus' call that we may all be one, as He and the Father are one. 

Even just little moments of taking these two interior inventories and trying to live this out in imitation of Our Beloved can sow seeds of love and peace amongst one another, and build profound confidence and trust in the Father that dissipates a spirit of fear.  Then we shall see the beginning of the triumph of God's Kingdom in which,

                  "Righteousness and truth shall meet, justice and peace shall kiss.

                 Truth shall spring out of the earth; and righteousness shall look                         down from heaven." [Psalm 85:10-11]

Revelation of the Magi-Jesus is the Light

JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!



About a week prior to the beginning of this past Advent, I was praying on what I was going to read to prepare my heart for the coming of Christ at Christmas.  The Holy Spirit reminded me of a book I had picked up on the dusty shelves of a local Goodwill store a few months prior.  It was entitled, "Revelation of the Magi: The Lost Tale of the wise Men's Journey to Bethlehem", and translated by a Phoenix native, Brent Landau.  

The historical background of this manuscript which was originally written in Syriac in what is estimated to be the 5th century is fascinating and can be found at the following link in a recent article featured in Aleteia: https://aleteia.org/2019/01/03/who-were-the-magi-really/

What I want to focus upon is what transported my heart and soul throughout the Advent and Christmas season - the light which emitted from that star and its meaning, and how the Magi prepared for the coming of this star over the centuries.  According to this account, the Magi were descended from Seth, the third son of Adam, who was taught by his father Adam that the light of a magnificent star that emitted the divine essence of God was present in the Garden of Eden where "it descended and came to rest over the Tree of Life; and it illuminated the entire garden before Adam transgressed against the Father" [6:1]. After the Fall, the sight of the star or the divine gaze was lost and taken away from Adam and Eve. Despite his grave offense against God the Father, Adam speaks of the Father's great mercy, and His promise. In the manuscript it is written that God the Father commands and reveals  to Adam the following: 

Wait for the light that shines forth to you from the exalted East of the majesty of the Father, the light that shines forth from on high in the form of a star over the Mountain of Victories and comes to rest upon a pillar of light within the Cave of Treasures of Hidden Mysteries...Command your sons, and your sons their sons, until the mystery of the star that shines forth from the exalted majesty appears to your generations, a light like a star, and giving light to the entire creation and obscuring the light of the sun, moon, and stars, and not one of them seen or is able to stand in the presence of its light. For it is the great mystery of the Son of the exalted majesty, who is the voice of the Father; the offspring of the hidden thought; the light of the ray of his glory; the will and image of his hiddenness; the all-engendering word of his thought; source of life never-failing from his spring; the all-governing word according to the will of the one who sent it; an image that has no form or likeness among any things that exist. 

This one, by whose power and word all worlds were set in order and established, is the Son of perfect mercy, is the ray of light of the glory of the Father of ineffable majesty. Therefore, know that when this light from that majesty that has no end shines forth for you and will appear like a star to you so that you are able to see him: eagerly, with joy and love..taking with you his own pure gifts, go to where his light, the star, leads you.  And you will see a great and amazing sign, God appearing in bodily form of a human being, unsightly, poor, imperfect, frail, lowly, even the sign of the cross appearing upon him..And you will offer him your gifts, and you shall receive from him the blessing of salvation and shall partake with him in the joy, which, when he comes with his hidden glory, with his perfect divinity, with his perfect riches that do not pass away, with his new world, with his light that with perfect salvation, which he will give to all... [4:3-4:9]

This beautiful prophesy and apocryphal writing really swept my heart away and struck me when encountering the Gospel of John so often this Advent and Christmas season and his frequent references to Jesus as the "light". 

1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome[a] it.9 The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. 

Jesus revealed himself as the "light of the world" [Jn 8:12, Jn 9:5], and exhorted His followers "While you have the Light, believe in the Light, so that you may become sons of Light " [Jn 12:36].

The question might be some 2,000 years later - How does this directly pertain to me, and how do I rid the shadows of darkness from various corners of my heart, my mind, my soul, my attitudes?   Another part of this manuscript sheds some beautiful light on the practicalities of how to prepare to see and recognize the Light, to follow the Light, and to receive and then give out this very same Light. It is akin to our Carmelite call and way of life.

The wise men, lived a semi-monastic familial life during which they gathered at regular intervals to purify themselves in a particular spring, which was followed by prayer and worship in silence in humble gestures of adoration for God Almighty,  in anticipation of his star as promised. During this time, they would pray silently and then read and pray from a book given to Seth containing these secrets which would be shared and studied by the members and their sons. These mystics remained faithful to this gathering month after month, generation after generation awaiting the fulfillment of the promise, that the Son of the Father would reveal His star to them in order that they might bring the gifts He had entrusted to them and spread His coming to the entire world.  

Furthermore, during prayer just prior to them being sent forth to find the star-child, each of the Magi saw different visions of the Christ child at different stages and times in his life as the God-man.  Some encountered Him as a babe, others as a man, a child, or on the Cross at Calvary. As God always does, He revealed Himself to each soul that best fit the individual's personality and gifts.

The common thread is that they listened in prayer and silence, sought to be men of virtue and grace, and remained faithful, attentive and obedient to God's promptings and Divine Will.  This enabled them to see the Star of Bethlehem, which they contend was none other than Christ Himself, who slowly descended from this bright pillar of light upon the earth as the Christ child. The 'woman clothed with the sun' gave birth without the pains of childbirth, bringing forth the Light who existed before the beginning of creation.  And now we as descendents and adopted sons and daughters of the Father can encounter Jesus each and every day through the myriad, infinite gifts He has bestowed upon us by His Incarnation.  By following the 6 M's of the order [Mass, Mary, Meetings, Morning/evening prayer, Meditation, and as Member of the Church], along with an adherence to the Constitution and its call for us to fulfill our Christian Carmelite call we encounter His Light in profound ways in the hidden recesses of our souls.  

As a reminder, the Preface of our OCDS Constitution reads as follows:

All are called to share, in charity, the holiness which belongs to God alone: “You must therefore be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Mt 5:48). Following Christ is the way to attain perfection, opened to all by baptism. Through Baptism we take part in the triple mission of Jesus: kingly, priestly and prophetic. The first is a commitment to transforming the world according to God’s design. By the priestly mission, the baptized person offers self and the whole of creation to the Father with Christ, guided by the Holy Spirit. And as prophet, the baptized person announces God’s plan for human kind and denounces all that is contrary to it. 

As Carmelites, we realize this through the grace of God which is opened to us when we meditate on the law of God day and night, and seek allegiance with Jesus Christ in a spirit of faith, hope and love and while fulfilling the evangelical promises of poverty, chastity and obedience.  As the Magi gathered faithfully every month and lived a life permeated by prayer and hopeful expectation, so may we do the same and seek the Light that is Jesus Christ Our Lord and Savior every moment of every day. We can access His light through our baptismal promises, the Sacraments, and our alone time with HIm in the silence of our hearts. We encounter Him in our families, communities, and the Mystical Body of Christ.  He reveals Himself in all of Creation. 

As John the Evangelist reminds us, 

The command I now write you is new, because its truth is seen in Christ and also in you. For the darkness is passing away, and the real light is already shining.

If we say that we are in the light, yet hate others, we are in the darkness to this very hour. If we love others, we live in the light, and so there is nothing in us that will cause someone else to sin. (1 John 2:8-10)  

Let us live every day of our lives in the Light of Christ. Amen. 

Celebrating Mary as Theotokos and Mother of us as Her Spiritual Children

JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!



January 1st is always a day filled with memories and a review of the past year, and anticipation for the year ahead.  It is permeated with hopes and dreams, and sometimes the desire to leave some things behind.  Amidst all of this is the profound presence and maternal spirit of Our Blessed Mother, whom we celebrate and honor today as Mary the Mother of God, or "Theotokos". 

As I ponder the past year, I see the handprints of Our Lady and her powerful intercession throughout all the nooks and crannies of my life.  There are a couple of momentous happenings that I wish to share that speak so clearly of who Our Lady is as Our Mother - spiritual and temporal, and of her unfailing love and steadfast assistance in all circumstances.  In June, I was privileged enough to go on a dream trip to the Baltics with my son for two weeks, and then meet with my husband in Italy for another two weeks.  Embarking upon this trip was a big risk for me, as I had relapsed with my health in late January and was struggling just to function on a daily basis.  It was a huge leap of faith for me to get on that transatlantic flight to Krakow, Poland not knowing if my body would be able to handle the stresses and strains of such a trip, and fearing that I could end up in the hospital there with no means of communicating in the native of tongue of Poland, Estonia, Lithuania, or Latvia.  It was a genuine concern, but every time I took it to prayer and asked another trusted intercessor to pray on this with me, I got a 'yes' you are to go on this trip. And so I did.

My son and I found ourselves in Czestochowa on the First Saturday of June, to honor Our Lady.  I had promised my father that I was going to go for all of his intentions that day, as it was his birthday. I was struggling physically and in a lot of pain, but determined to get to this beautiful shrine.  When we arrived the national site dedicated to Our Lady in Poland was teeming with visitors. It was hard for us as individuals who did not speak Polish to understand what was going on. We were able to go on a tour with a nun who spoke English, and rush through the museum and the lavish chapel where Our Lady's painting adorns the altar area.  I was enamored with her beauty and the amazing story behind this image, but did not have time for deep prayer and contemplation, as we had to get in and out in about 30 seconds flat!  It was meaningful because I had prepared with novenas and felt connected through my Polish heritage, but also a bit harried and lacking in spiritual nourishment, as we were rushed.  I was able to pray for my Dad, and felt a debt of gratitude for that opportunity. 

My son and I left soon thereafter and prepared to take the 2 hour ride home.  In a world of pain, I boarded the train after getting drenched in an early summer downpour, and left it at that.  We had made it and I was grateful.  I did not expect to wake up the next day and begin to realize that my pain was nearly gone, and I had strength that I had not felt in months. This was a shock! It was as if my body was restored! I knew it was a healing through the intercession of Our Lady of Czestochowa and continue to marvel to this day at what she did for me that day, even when I wasn't feeling fully immersed in the experience or able to enter deeply into it at the time. She is indeed a mother who is always present and watching over our physical and spiritual needs, whether we are in consolation or desolation.

The second event regards my daughter and two different driving incidents. Both took place in the car on the highway on her way to choir practice during rush hour.  The first incident occurred while she was driving my fairly new car, and began to experience severe shaking while in the HOV lane. Aware that something was gravely wrong, she began to get over to the right hand side of the highway with her emergency lights on. As she got all the way over, her friend in the back took a video of the car tire on the front passenger side of the car shredding and flying across the entire highway.  It literally weaved its way between all of the cars and traffic and not a single person struck the tire, nor were there any accidents.  It was as if it were divinely guided in a sense. 

The second auto event happened soon thereafter in her own car on her birthday.  She almost had not gone, but at the last minute decided it was best to attend her mandatory practice.  She called me within a few minutes to tell me that she had put her signal on to change lanes, and before she could fully get over a car switched and zipped diagonally across two or three lanes and almost side swiped her at a high speed. She was able to get back over into her original lane but could not stop in time from hitting the person in front of her.  It was a minor fender bender and no one was hurt, thanks be to God.  I had prayed an extra Rosary that morning for her, as I felt compelled to do so.

These incidents illustrate to me that Our Mother wraps me, my family, and all of us as her spiritual children into swaddling clothes that she holds close to her breast and under her mantle of love.  It is not magic, nor formulaic prayer. It is a relationship with the Mother of God, Mary Most Holy.  She loves us perfectly with a maternal love that will never fail us and whether we are aware of it or not.   “Can a woman forget her nursing child And have no compassion on the son of her womb?" [Is 49:15] Our Lady nourishes us at her breast and within her womb as Holy Mother Church. She keeps us and our loved ones safe.  May we walk in this assurance each day of this new year, and all the days of our lives. Amen.

Madonna of the Wheat

JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!


Madonna of the Wheat

Today we hear the parable of the weeds in the field.  Jesus explains that,

He who sows good seed is the Son of Man,
the field is the world, the good seed the children of the Kingdom.
The weeds are the children of the Evil One,
and the enemy who sows them is the Devil.
The harvest is the end of the age, and the harvesters are angels.
Just as weeds are collected and burned up with fire,
so will it be at the end of the age.

The Son of Man will send his angels,
and they will collect out of his Kingdom
all who cause others to sin and all evildoers.
They will throw them into the fiery furnace,
where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.
Then the righteous will shine like the sun
in the Kingdom of their Father.Whoever has ears ought to hear." {Mt 13:37-43]

This isn't one of those parables that leaves a warm fuzzy inside. The good news is that Jesus doesn't just leave us with visions of a fiery furnace enmeshed in our minds, because just prior to this parable he speaks of the Weeds and the Wheat living together.  He points out that the weeds are planted by the enemy, but then he makes an interesting point.  He tells the servants not to pull the weeds out, because they will likewise damage the wheat before the harvest.  He further instructs them, "Let both grow together until the harvest."  

This is they key in my mind.  The two are intertwined, and in a sense are dependent on one another as those seeking sanctification are exhorted to love one's enemies and to pray for them, to practice the virtues, mercy, patience, and goodness. One the other hand, those who are in the weeds at the moment, are always being invited to break free from sin and experience healing and forgiveness through the grace of God and the prayers of their brothers and sisters.  It is never too late for a single soul until the very end at harvest time.  During our lifetimes, Jesus desires that our souls grow and mature in rich soil.  As the  "bread of life", He invites all of us to imitate and follow him by being sown, fallen, crushed, buried and resurrected as a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, only then bearing good fruit. [See Jn 12:24]

Who better to assist us in this sometimes difficult process than Our Blessed Mother, who is honored under various titles related to this rich imagery?  These titles include Madonna of the Wheat, Our Lady of the Loaves, Multiplier of Wheat, and Theotokos She Who Ripens Grain.

Theotokos, She Who Ripens Grain

I don't know about you, but when I am getting a little too close to the weed patch or getting ready to go all in, I know that my Mother is there to keep me safe and protect me from harm.  She reminds me of my call to holiness, and her gentle tenderness calls me back to the wheat field where I am still growing and experiencing episodes of my ego being crushed and ground up, just like Jesus' image of his servants who follow Him.

Madonna of the Wheat http://campus.udayton.edu/

As I am seeking to practice the Beatitudes, and to imitate Our Lord and Our Lady, I have the assurance that she is the God-bearer, and was hailed for the "fruit of her womb".  She only produces good fruit in her spiritual children through the deft hands of her Spouse, the Holy Spirit, and through the powerful embrace of Our Eucharistic King, who comes to us at the altar of Bread and Wine and nourishes us. In the Song of Songs, the Bridegroom sings the praises of His bride be extolling her beauty as follows, ""Your navel is like a round goblet Which never lacks mixed wine; Your belly is like a heap of wheat Fenced about with lilies." [7:2]  This is indeed Our Lady, who held within her Womb the Messiah, whose body and blood was to become the Tree of Life for us in the form of the Eucharist which as the source of our faith sustains us. 

Of this we can be assured: Our Lady is fruitful and seeks what is best for us. She wants to multiply blessings for us as so vividly seen at the Wedding Feast of Cana.  Just as Our Lord multiplied the loaves of bread and fish, so Our Lady wishes to lead us to the source of all multiplication, Our Lord Jesus.  We need only recognize our dependence upon Our Lord, and ask Our Lady to keep us safe in the field, to ensure that we remain amongst the wheat or are converted from weeds to wheat in any areas needing purification.   

St. Mary of Jesus Crucified summarized this with an apropos image: The proud person is like a grain of wheat thrown into water: it swells, it gets big. Expose that grain to the fire: it dries up, it burns. The humble soul is like a grain of wheat thrown into the earth: it descends, it hides itself, it disappears, it dies; but to revive in heaven...She further reminds us, "At the feet of Mary I came back to life."

Our Lady, Multiplier of Wheat...Pray for us.

Our Lady of Loaves...Pray for us..