Tears as Wellsprings of Grace

JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!

Today we celebrate the Memorial of Our Lady of Sorrows in which we commemorate the many sufferings Our Lady endured upon giving her fiat and becoming Theotokos.  Traditionally, her seven sorrows or dolors consist of the prophesy of Simeon that a sword of sorrow would pierce her heart; the Holy Family's flight into Egypt as political refugees; the losing of the Child Jesus in the Temple area; the Way of the Cross; the Crucifixion and Death of Our Lord Jesus; the Descent of Jesus from the Cross; and the burial/entombment of Jesus. One can only dimly understand the intense sorrow that Our Lady must have experienced at seeing her beloved Son and long-awaited Savior of the World rejected and suffering from the time of His infancy until His dying breath in order to set us free from our sins, limitations and transgressions. As the Immaculata, it is certain that her capacity for sorrow was heightened and the depth and breadth of these sacrifices more keenly understood as the Timeless Woman who was hailed as being "full of grace."  Her eyes, ears, mind, hands and heart were in a perpetual posture of openness and receptivity that enabled her to receive the mystery and love of God in the purest sense possible in her humanity.  Blessed Mother could feel deeply in the fullness of each of these distressing events as they unfolded due to her purity of heart and her sensitivity to all  things pertaining to God, others, and herself, and in her vocation as wife of St. Joseph and mother of Jesus.

In our human experience, we can perhaps relate in our own smaller ways to the Our Spiritual Mama's sorrows as we experience the daily tragedies, disappointments, destruction, discord, and brokenness within our own hearts as well as as what we see in our families, communities, country and the greater world.  We see the hurting hearts of humanity and can only imagine the immense sorrow that Our Lord and Our Lady continue to feel as they witness how lost  Abba's children have become upon the journey of life and how we pierce the Sacred Heart of Jesus and cause Him such sorrow and pain.  Pondering such tristesse can cause us to feel overwhelmed, perhaps even verging upon hopelessness, as we wonder how such sorrows can be resolved and when we will be able to enjoy the heavenly banquet when God "will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passes away." [Rev 21:4]

I want to look at these inevitable sorrows of our lives through the lens of tears, which are the body's way of cleansing the heart and spirit of the anguish we experience in our lives. On a neurobiological level, there are three types of tears known as reflexive, continual, and emotive or psychic. The first two ensure that noxious chemicals and irritants are flushed from your eyes and that they remain lubricated.  The third type of psychic tears are structurally different on a molecular level and contain neurotransmitters with natural opioids that ease and numb the pain associated with tears of sadness.  How fascinating it is that in Hebrew, the word for tears is dema or dimah which comes from the root word dalet (meaning door or pathway), mem (meaning water), ayin (meaning eyes). One can go even further than this in noting the correlation between the following Hebrew words:

   - Adam [man]; adama [ground]; dam [blood]; adom [red]; dema [tears]

This suggests that we were created for the capacity to cry, and just as we shed blood when we have experienced physical pain, so we shed tears with spiritual and emotional pain indicating an injury to the soul.  This literally means that our tears are "blood of the eyes". 

This speaks of vulnerability and a profound offering of the very center and core of one's being that are released and offered when crying.  Our Lady of Sorrows' tears were clearly expressing the deepest center of her Immaculate love, motherhood and femininity. Her maternal tears were as an offering to the Father that expressed the most fundamental suffering of her soul as she watched the sorrows predicted by Simeon unfold over time and which freely flowed to be collected in the palm of God's Hands..  

In The Eternal Woman by Gertrud von Le Fort, she speaks of this inevitable grief in a mother's life and as experienced by Our Lady in being the Mother of the Christ Child. "Every mother's destiny is, in the last analysis, the unending renewal of the pangs of giving birth. To give life to a child means fundamentally that the child detaches itself from her life...There is no loneliness on earth like that of a mother; she is not being parted from some other loved one, but the sword that pierces her heart separates her from her own flesh and blood."  [p.99] Fulton Sheen develops this further in The World's First Love by explaining that love is inseparable from sorrow and Our Lady would taste many tears due to her perfection in living out this love. 

Therefore, such tears are never wasted but are instead like precious pearls that shine before God.  They nourish the earth for a future time of bloom and harvest. Time again this release of tears from the heart reaches the throne of heaven and is transformed into deeper intimacy and healing. God tells Isaiah to communicate to Hezekiah, "I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears (dima-teka). I will surely heal you. " [2 Kgs 20:5] and we are reassured by the Psalmist that God  "delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears (dimah), my feet from stumbling"[Ps 116:8] and that the Lord has even placed our tears within his bottle [Ps 56:8].

This is why it is essential that we mourn and weep. Jesus Himself assures us that "blessed are those who mourn and weep, for they shall be comforted." [Mt 5:4] Indeed, our bodies and spirits are made for it. Tears heal our souls and touch the compassionate Heart of God Himself.  If we plug up our emotions and sorrows causing these interior fountains of heartfelt sadness to become frozen, we become stuck and stymied. We are unable to move forward in trust amidst the sorrow. We become bitter and resentful amidst the transformational and mysterious power of the Cross in our lives.  Just as an infant cries when in need as one totally dependent upon his or her mother (or father), so we as needy supplicants cry out to God in union with our Celestial Mother and Queen for relief.  The  power found in such cries of the heart become potent reminders of our utter dependence upon God, and can move mountains and the very Divine Will and Breath of God.  In such moments, our utter helplessness meets God's omnipotence, His merciful Heart, and HIs Divine Provision to provide for us as children.  This spiritual reality has been noted among one researcher who shares his stunning findings that, "prayer is the adult manifestation of infantile crying" and that the brain's neural activity is similar between one and the two. [See House of Weeping https://www.sbl-site.org/assets/pdfs/pubs/9780884143512.pdf].

This release from the bowels or our being can become pools of lifegiving drink and living waters, to such an extent that the Eastern Church holds the charism of the gift of tears as expressed in prayer to be the highest spiritual charism as it signifies a baptism or rebirth in the Holy Spirit.  It indicates a softening of the heart and an openness and receptivity to receive and accept the gifts that Our Lord holds for us in every situation.  It is an infusion of grace expressed in our teardrops that communicates profound love for the Holy Trinity, and it transforms our sorrows, failings, disappointments, and fears into a quiet joy and abiding with the Lord and an oasis within the landscape of our souls as we continue our pilgrimage on earth.  Our tears are little baptismal fonts that bring us to the fountain of God Himself.  The Virgin Mary teaches us how to surrender into the profound sufferings and sorrows of our lives, in order for them to be transformed and transfigured into the Resurrection and our own rebirth moments.  By embracing the sorrows, we continue upon the path of the Paschal mystery in our lives. We appear naked and vulnerable before God and others, and this enables new possibilities, vistas, and doors to be opened.

We share in Our Lady's sorrows today as we remember her dolors and the excruciating pain she must have felt in seeing Jesus misunderstood, mistreated, and finally fully rejected to the point of becoming the Lamb of God slain upon the Cross for our sins and transgressions. Amidst this almost unimaginable tragedy is the quiet knowing that her tears throughout all these events were as childlike prayers to the Lord that were received by Him, and which moved His Heart of Compassion and Mercy to new life for all of humanity.  Such is the case with our own tears, as we cry out "Jesus" and "Abba, Father." He listens to our cries, He collects our tears, and He comforts us. Through our tears, He draws us to Himself upon the Cross.  Such heartfelt tears are then never wasted but become a wellspring of grace. So let us embrace them as they roll down our cheeks and water the interior gardens of our souls. 

Ascent to the Cross, Our Only Hope

JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!

This reflection was first published with the Oxford Centre for Applied Carmelite Spirituality Lent 2021.

God's Creative Beauty

I must admit that I am enamored with birds. Their beauty, effortless flight, graceful movements, and melodic calls and warbling captivate my attention and stir my soul upward with their ascent. When I watch them, I taste an interior freedom and desire to glide in the wind, with carefree abandon.  God has spoken to me many times of what it means to hope and enjoy true freedom of spirit through these feathered friends.

^{Several years ago, I watched transfixed during one early morning hike as the sun rose in the east over the dusty desert mountain-tops of Arizona, and two ravens circled overhead, cawing to one another while carrying straw in their black beaks for nest-building. To my delight, they began swooping in patterns and loops.  With my eyes wide and my mouth agape, I observed in amazement as the two began to perform pirouettes and somersaults in the sky like a circus act on a trapeze! I thought I might need a bit of coffee to clear my head, but there they were continuing their performance as if starring members of Cirque du Soleil.  To say that I was mesmerized by such antics would be an understatement! It was a spectacle that I shall never forget, and enamored my spirit to that primal desire to fly, if not physically than at least spiritually.}

^{More recently, on a recent hike through the mountains, a red-tailed hawk caught my attention as he glided in the wind above our well-hewn trail in a graceful freedom that was absolutely breath-taking. He captured my attention, and I yearned to join this majestic bird in a free-flight of spirit. What would it be like to just glide effortlessly through the clouds and gaze upon the earth with a literal bird’s eye view?  The Lord whispered interiorly that He desires to grant this wish of my heart, but to do so requires a letting go of all that weighs me down.  He reminded me of what St. John of the Cross says, “The soul that is attached to anything however much good there may be in it will not arrive at the liberty of divine union. For whether it be a strong wire rope or a slender and delicate thread that holds the bird, it matters not, if it really holds it fast; for until the cord be broken the bird cannot fly.”} 

^{The Dynamics of Hope}

^{Hope has an ascending dynamism which has led it to be compared to a bird. Emily Dickinson penned “Hope is the thing with feathers” to suggest just that:} 

^{Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul}

^{___ that sings the tune without the words}

^{___ and never stops at all.}

^{The dove on Noah’s ark brought back a sign of hope with the olive branch carried in his beak, indicating that dry land was within distance and God had kept His promise.  Even the mythological bird of the phoenix dying amidst fire and ashes, to then experience renewal and rebirth is a story of hope.  So how much more is the Cross of Jesus Christ, Our Savior and Redeemer suspended above the earth, who as the cosmic eternal source of all hope invites us to lay down our attachments, egos, and baggage in order to be free to fly with Him in the fullness of life?}

^{We are told in The Catechism of the Catholic Church that hope is a theological virtue, “by which we desire the kingdom of heaven and eternal life as our happiness, placing our trust in Christ's promises and relying not on our own strength, but on the help of the grace of the Holy Spirit. Hope is an aspiration to happiness which God has placed in the heart of every man [CCC 1817-1818.] Hope is such a strong desire based upon faith that it serves as a catalyst for our activities and purifies them towards the Kingdom of heaven, opening one’s heart in expectation of eternal life. Hope is so powerful that it is not only a theological virtue, but a form of eros or desire for ultimate union with Our Triune God which holds the ultimate purpose for every human being.  Such upward arrows of hopeful desire [eros] are found in various forms of goodness, beauty, and truth, and are expressed as urgent longings that lift us up in flight with the Holy Spirit like a bird and carries us towards the Eternal.}

^{The Lord affirms that the gift of hope and the desires of our hearts anchored upon faith are indeed pleasing to Him and come from the Spirit. St. Paul tells us just that in Romans 5:3-5 “we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and this hope does not disappoint us, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit.”  Such hope is the fruit of trial and perseverance, which then takes flight to something desired but not yet seen. [See Heb 11:1] How fitting, when we examine the root meanings of hope in English and Hebrew.   In late Old English the root word for hope [hopa] refers to "confidence in the future," especially "God or Christ as a basis for hope.”  It also denotes an "expectation of something desired;" along with "trust, confidence; wishful desire."  Interestingly, the word for hope in Hebrew (Tikvah), means not only expectation but also a cord or rope, from a root word that means to bind or to wait for or upon.}

^{So when we cooperate with the Lord’s grace in severing the last thread here upon earth in order that we can be free to fly with Our Beloved, we anchor ourselves upon the Cross and tether ourselves to our First Love.  We no longer place our trust “in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save” but instead turn to the Lord, who remains faithful forever [Ps 146], and who has known us before we were born, knitting us together in our mother’s womb [Ps 139]. For it is the Lord who promises us, “I know the plans I have for you…, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope [Tikvah] and a future.”}

^{Jesus expresses His deep desire for this flight to take place when He tell us, “When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw everyone to myself.” [Jn 12:32] This magnetic drawing of us towards Himself upon the Cross suggests that all the extraneous disordered attachments of our lives -the false masks and identities, ego, material possessions, deformed memory, intellect and will, must be placed in His Precious Wounds and die with Him right there, where all of it falls to the ground and becomes a burnt offering.  Just as the wheat can only bear fruit when it has fallen to the ground, so must we be willing to leave it all behind, for it to be burned away and for fruitfulness to occur.}

^{The Wound  of Love}

^{This delicate surgery is performed using the precise instrument of the Cross. These are the moments we dread- when not only can we not fly, but sometimes cannot even crawl.  We are like birds with broken wings and plucked feathers who are immobilized as unexpected illness, an untimely death of a loved one, grief over a loss of job, dreams deferred, relationships ruined wash over our wounded bodies and souls. Even the simple expectations that we had been counting on are incinerated as the mundane and unfulfilled gaping holes in our hearts are exposed. As we are stripped and begin to lay these situations down one by one, we find ourselves lifted high upon the Cross, united with Jesus Crucified.}

^{The more we battle and struggle with Him, the more our wings become injured. Conversely, the more we surrender and entrust ourselves to Him with the cords of hope that cling to Him and His Cross, the more liberated we become.  With such cords we begin to build a nest on the altar of the Cross just as the swallows do [See Ps 84:3], in hopeful expectation of our ultimate freedom and wholeness. We cry out in groanings and lamentations with the Psalmist,}

Have mercy on me, O God, in your goodness;
in the greatness of your compassion wipe out my offense.
⁴ Thoroughly wash me from my guilt
and cleanse me from my sin.
¹² A clean heart create for me, O God,
renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹³ Cast me not away from your presence,
nor deny me your Holy Spirit. [Ps 51: 3-4,12-13]

^{As we abandon ourselves more fully in humility to this purification process, hoisting the rope of hope upon the four corners of the Holy Cross, the more weightless we become.  We encounter the holy kiss of the Cross where merciful love and faithfulness embrace and justice and peace kiss. [Ps 85:10] The Cross becomes a lever of freedom, the wounds of Christ a shelter and refuge as we unite our sufferings with His own. United with Jesus on the “marriage bed” of the Holy Cross, we lean into the Crucified Christ and unite our wounds with His own where this sacrificial love becomes a fruitful rebirth in a springtime of renewal and hope.}

^{The Hope of the Cross}

^{One somber morning on Good Friday, my daughter and I were walking to a Rosary rally to pray with our bishop for life. I was startled when I spied a tiny ruby-throated hummingbird seemingly dead next to the sidewalk. I was deeply saddened as I have always had a special love for these little creatures, and encounter them as little signs given to me of Our Heavenly Father’s Divine Providence, His healing, protection and the movement of the Holy Spirit. I wanted to gather it up and take it home to bury it, but we decided to stop afterwards to do so. After our prayer, we proceeded to walk back, and I was stunned by my discovery! The hummingbird no longer appeared dead upon the ground, but was now alighted upon a branch and began to energetically gather nectar in his proboscis beak with wings aflutter. I was absolutely astonished when I later learned that the hummingbird is a sign of resurrection, and that it sleeps in a state of torpor during which its body temperature plummets in order that it can protect itself and regain its energy. Although it is near death, it rises again to continue. And so it is with our own lives in the deepest recesses of our souls, along with our hopes, dreams and desires.}

^{This is the power of what Jesus promises each of us today and every day, “Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there also will my servant be” [Jn 12:25-26].  Let us therefore cry out with the Bride in the Song of Songs, “Draw us Lord, and we shall run….Lift me up, Lord, upon the Cross and bind me with your cords of love, and we shall fly.”  Then we can boldly proclaim, Ave Crux Spes Unica - Hail to the Cross, Our Only Hope.}

My Mosaic Heart re-formed and healed in the Sacred Heart of Jesus

JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!

What a glorious Feast Day today is as we celebrate the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus! It calls to mind the tenderness and love that emanates from Jesus' Heart and the blood and water that flows forth in a torrent of Divine Love that invites us to receive, to say 'yes' to His overtures, and to bathe in those purifying waters.  

I know that Jesus is constantly drawing me ever close to Himself and beckoning me into increasing intimacy with Him. Nonetheless, I find that at times I recoil from His palpitations of love by responding in the spirit of St. Peter, "Depart from me Lord, for I am a sinful woman."  Recently, I experienced my complete brokenness and sheer inability to love as I ought or desire to.  I found myself face to face with my limitations and poverty opining that, "I do what I do not want to do." It seemed that my feminine genius was completely shattered and the tiny pieces that once comprised my identity as mother, daughter, sister and bride were obliterated in a span of a short weekend into a disordered heap upon the floor. 

There was no quick fix nor self-actualized solution to be had. After the initial shock of seeing what had transpired in my family and my own role in it, there was nothing left to do but bring all of these jagged pieces to the feet of Jesus for Him to recover what was lost and make more beautiful that which was now disfigured and scattered. Just as broken glass can be heated at high temperatures in order to become malleable and enable one to reshape and remold it, so my heart required a reconfiguring of sorts. I asked Jesus to pick up these broken pieces and to heat them in the furnace of His Sacred Heart where the impurities in my own heart could be removed and my identity could be renewed and reclaimed to reflect His designs upon my heart. 

I was also aware that Jesus was lovingly asking me once again for ever-increasing degrees of surrender and letting go of my need to control.  He was inviting me into HIs Sacred Side where His Sacred Heart was pierced and blood and water gushed forth as a shelter and bath where I can repose and let Him decide what my feminine genius looks like and how the mosaic montage of my heart is formed, the colors it is comprised of, and the patterns that it makes.  It was an opportunity for me to hand over all of the little and big pieces of my heart and allow the Divine Artist and Healer to make it new and beautiful in His perfect time and way.  In the dismantling that was allowed to happen, God had bigger plans to restore, renew, and reclaim me for Himself.  This is an ongoing process which I entrust to Him.

This reordering of my heart reminds me that Jesus desires to infill all of our wounded hearts with Himself.  Instead of trying to hide my weaknesses in a variety of inauthentic ways, Our Beloved Savior wants me to allow Him into these vulnerable spaces and places within to fill these crevices with His Mercy, Love, and kindness.  In a sense, by embracing my incapacities in humility and trust and giving Jesus access to my flawed and pocked heart, I have been strengthened and become more fully authentically myself. My false masks and disordered expectations of myself and others are being removed as I am able to exercise more fully and genuinely my true identity and feminine genius. 

In closing, I offer this poem that I wrote to encapsulate this ongoing process of forging my own mosaic heart in the furnace of the One who loves each of us infinitely and eternally. I pray that it may be a source of meditation for exploring the beauty of your own mosaic heart that is being beautifully rendered by the Lord.

My Mosaic Heart

Shattered shards of glass

Scattered and strewn along the dusty dirt road of life.

Sharp edges sink into the earth,

while other jagged pieces poke out 

to cut and wound.

Splash of tinted colors

Obscured by mud, awaiting the rub of hope,

Leading to translucence.

Jade specks muted;

Rose-colored fragments crying out in desperation;

Blue bottle necks gasping for 

mouth to mouth resuscitation 

in adoratio.

The dark resin of sunflower-dolloped slivers

lying amongst emptied perfume bottles once filled with

the fragrance of prayer,

the sweetness of the aromas of incense

rising up to God no more.

Lachrymatories spilling tears

Splashed into the gaping earth,

watering the arid desert, 

Soaking into the moaning cosmos.

Divine Gatherer collecting assorted puzzle pieces 

of my story into Paternal Palm,

Bathing and cleansing in Living waters

Drying with fire breath of the Spirit

in the Divine Furnace of His Emblazoned Heart.

Mini Meditations on Corpus Christi

JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!

There are a few thoughts that have been percolating within recently regarding the gift of the Holy Eucharist, especially after reading Bread that is Broken by Wilfrid Stinissen, ocd and studying the recent Apostolic exhortation written by Bishop Olmsted of Phoenix, AZ entitled Venermur Cernui-Down in Adoration Falling.  

There are so many things to ponder. I will share with you some deep questions that I keep praying on:

1. Am I allowing the Eucharist to truly transform me deeply, completely, in every area of my life? Stinissen writes in his book mentioned above that, "The bread and the wine represent the whole cosmos, but first of all ourselves, who are to be transformed...God is the great Transformer. But He transforms only what we give him."  Am I holding anything back? Where do I still have a 'Do not enter' sign, while the Lord continues to knock at the door of my heart? Do I allow my ego, plans, and very self to become crushed grapes and wheat in order to be transformed and offered to God and others?

 

2. Upon receiving this gift and allowing increasing degrees of interior transformation [hopefully], am I becoming food for others?  Am I nourishing and nurturing others on their journey? Am I a source of healthy energy, movement, light, life, growth and strength? St. Leo the Great said, "For the effect of our sharing in the body and blood of Christ is to change us into what we receive. As we have died with Him, and have been buried and raised to life with him, so we bear him within us, both in body and in spirit, in everything we do."  I must continue to ask myself if I am offering myself as meal for others in the spirit of Jesus Christ. 

3. Fulton Sheen tells us, "We become like that which we gaze upon. Looking into a sunset the face takes on a golden glow. Looking at the Eucharistic Lord for an hour transforms the heart in a mysterious way."  We begin to resemble what or who we spend time looking at.  Couples begin to look increasingly alike over the course of their years spent together as they gaze into one another's eyes.  As they encounter each other face to face entering into their beloved's  shared reality, they gift each other with their presence in a spirit of compassion and empathy whether it be in silence or conversation.  They begin to reflect one another, mirror the other's smiles, expressions, body language, eyes, and even wrinkles.  And so it is with Our Eucharistic King. The more we gaze upon His Eucharistic Face, the more we increasingly resemble Him. Am I placing myself before Him without any masks, seeking to be fully spiritually naked before Him and more deeply discovering Him every time I come before Him?

4. In adoration [in adoratio] am I mouth to mouth with Jesus, as the root word suggests? Is there an exchange of breath, a receiving of His life force, a kiss between Jesus as the Lover and myself as the beloved?  Am I allowing intimacy, closeness, and depth in the relationship?

5. Am I a paten for Our Lord Jesus to lay His weary head? Even amidst my many weaknesses, do I offer myself as a place of support for Jesus who is so cruelly treated and remains unknown and misunderstood?

5. Can I offer myself as an empty chalice for Christ to pour Himself into in order to receive the water of His humanity, mingled with the wine changed into "the crimson blood of love, and lifted up in sacrifice."  [Reed of God, Caryll Houselander]  The emptier the vessel that I become, the more He can fill me and increase my capacity to be His vessel of Divine Love and Mercy.  By surrendering to this, He can mold me into a Christ-bearer, a walking tabernacle giving birth to Christ in the world. 

These meanderings of reflection questions are presented to encourage your own Eucharistic adventures with Our Eucharistic Lord and all the ways that He wants to reveal Himself to you as Bridegroom in the sacrament of the Altar.

In closing, I just found this beautiful poem written by St. Therese that captures some of these very desires.  Here are just a few of the stanzas :

My Desires Near Jesus Hidden in His Prison of Love .

At each daybreak I envy you,
O Sacred Altar Stone! As in the blessed stable,
On you the Eternal One wants to be born ...
Ah! Deign to grant my prayer.
Come into my soul, Sweet Savior ...
Far from being a cold stone,
It is the sigh of your Heart!

O Corporal surrounded by angels!
How enviable is your lot.
On you, as in his humble swaddling clothes,
I see Jesus, my only treasure.
Virgin Mary, change my heart
Into a pure, beautiful Corporal
To receive the white host,
Where your Sweet Lamb hides.

Holy Paten, I envy you.
Upon you Jesus comes to rest.
Oh! may his infinite grandeur
Deign to humble itself even to me ...
Fulfilling my hope, Jesus
Does not wait until the evening of my life.
He comes within me; by his presence
I am a living Monstrance! ...

Oh! how I envy the happy chalice
Where I adore the divine Blood ...
But at the Holy Sacrifice
I can take it in each morning.
To Jesus my soul is dearer
Than precious vessels of gold.
The Altar is a new Calvary
Where his Blood still flows for me ...

 

Eastertide & Mercy Flow

JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!

Easter season is a time of special graces as we celebrate the ultimate Good News that Jesus is risen from the dead, and that all of humanity and creation has been redeemed. Alleluia! Alleluia! 

As I contemplate the profound mystery of this Theo-drama, one word keeps coming to mind. FLOW.  I pondered this veiled recurring theme that kept showing up everywhere I went. My husband was unaware of this interior dialogue and mystery stirring within me and started telling me about a new business related book he was reading. He shared, "Yeah. It's about flow, you now? Like being in flow." It has indeed been a long time since I earned my MBA and worked in the corporate world, and I truly had no idea what he was talking about.  He then began to explain this concept and compared it to being "in the zone", where time and space seemingly cease and you are one within yourself and in what you are doing.  The official definition in the secular world is described as a state of mind in which a person becomes fully immersed in pursuing a goal or an activity. While in this mental state, people are completely involved and focused on what they are doing and perform at very high levels due to an intensive focus and awareness. 

This reminded me of a recent conversation I had shared with a group of fellow Carmelites.  One member holds tremendous musical talent. She commented that she has experienced rare moments when she has become one with the music and everything just begins to flow in an effortless, seamless and harmonious way. She described it as if one is on the outside looking in at something that is beyond human ability and all time stops.  In such moments there is a convergence and an ebb and flow that is otherworldly. We can certainly observe this at times with professional athletes who are like poetry in motion, or when artistry exudes from an individual or group that raises one's awareness and sense of possibility to a higher plane of existence. Perhaps we have experienced such moments in prayer when God's Divine Presence is so infused that everything around us seems to disappear. 

All of these examples of flow ultimately point upward towards God. They elucidate the gifts that He has given certain individuals, but perhaps more importantly these moments serve as a reminder of Our Lord's call to each one of us to enter into His Trinitarian Divine Love that flows without ceasing or hindrance between the Three Divine Persons, and beckons each of us as His children to partake in this free flow of love.

If we look at divine patterns it is filled with the divine flow of God's blessings and graces and our responses to it.  From the very beginning of creation, we encounter this flow as the ruah breath of God hovering over the waters and the Word and Breath comingling to create in love. Divine Love is flowing through all of Creation and between humanity and God before original sin.  All is in harmony and nothing is discordant.  After the Fall, such divine flow is still present, but is not as easily accessed in our brokenness.  Nevertheless, God is constantly promising flow to His Chosen People- that He will bring them to a land flowing with milk and honey [Num 13:27].  The prophets assure the Israelites that God intends to restore them and will make peace flow like a river [Is 44:3], that "the hills shall flow with milk" [Joel 3:18],and that "justice will flow like water and righteousness like an unfailing stream" [Amos 9:13].  These promises of flow are expanded upon and made permanent by the final promise spoken by Our Lord Jesus that "He who believes in me, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living waters" [Jn 7:38].

Jesus is the ultimate exemplar of Divine flow. He descended to earth in the flow of the Divine Will and incessantly refilled His cup in the domestic church of the Holy Family in His Sacred Humanity. Simultaneously, He enjoyed ongoing union and communion with the Father and the Holy Spirit who operated His life and to whom he gave His moment by moment fiat.  In the Gospels, Jesus is attentive, intentional, and fully present in His words, mighty works, and prayer.  His ultimate sacrifice upon the Cross is Divine Flow as He surrenders into the Will of the Father and placed all in His hands.  He lets go of everything in an ultimate act of kenosis by emptying Himself completely.  Even His blood and water flowed freely from His pierced side as a final act of flow as He birthed Holy Mother Church and released the fullness of Divine Mercy and redemption through such intentionality.  

We encounter God's Divine Flow as the First Mover, and then are invited to respond and imitate this dynamism and surrender.  Interestingly, St. John of the Cross speaks of the dark night of the soul leading to contemplative prayer as an inflow of God's grace towards transformation and purification of the soul.  This outpouring of Divine Love is received as an inflow of contemplative gifts couched in holy darkness which trickles into the soul as it begins to let go of the attachments, personal idols, and silos that divert it from loving attentiveness towards the Source and summit of all.  It is as a hidden spring that proceeds in silence undetected towards this fount of plenitude.  This is the beginning of the wellspring of contemplation that flows and run where the heavens and the earth drink, and satisfy their thirst... [Kavanaugh, K. Poem #8:3, 10 p. 59-60].

If we desire to be in perpetual flow with the Lord, I propose a 4 step process to prepare our hearts to be ready to receive His movements and invitations. They are as follows:

FLOW

F: Follow in Faith. Flow is not about force or about figuring it all out.  We are not called to chart our own path or be self-sufficient, but instead to follow Our Good Shepherd who leads and guides us and to be attuned to the voice of the Holy Spirit. Following requires humility and recognizing our need to be life-long learners and students of the Lord. When we resist we cannot follow or receive the promptings of flow. 

L: Listen and Lean: Listening is the disposition of a disciple and requires silence. This means taking breaks from the incessant noise around us and planning technology fasts as needed to recalibrate the ears of our hearts.  While listening for the still small voice of the Lord, we want to lean into the Father, the Vinedresser.  Our Father knows every hair upon our heads, just as a vine-grower knows every vine in his vineyard. He knows every nuance and trait, our personal histories, and every strength and weakness within us.  We can lean into the Father's love as our Abba who desires to hold us, comfort us, and bring us to a place where we are in flow with His Trinitarian love and all of creation.

O: Offering: Being in flow requires a full and total offering of oneself to God. To flow freely in His Divine Will and Spirit is to welcome Him with open hearts and empty hands in a posture of pure receptivity.  This means presenting every aspect of our lives to the Lord...every nook and cranny.  This includes our identity, our hopes and dreams, professional and educational pursuits, vocation, financial concerns, sexuality, our masculine/feminine genius, strengths and weaknesses,  sins and failings, all of our relationships, memory, intellect, will, and the gifts we have been given through His generous hands. We can ask ourselves, "Are there any areas that I am holding back in offering to the Lord?" He waits for you and I. 

W: Wait: Flow is about movement, but we do not get to control the pace or timing of such dynamism. Scripture tells us that the Father and the Son are always at work with the Holy Spirit, and that He makes all things beautiful in their time.  It is important to recognize that even tiny imperceptible movements can be flow, when we are freely consenting and cooperating with where the drift of His elan wishes to take us.  There is high tide and low tide, seasons of rushing of waters as well as trickling, sometimes barely perceptible, dewdrops. 

By following in faith, listening and leaning, openly offering, and waiting we can enter into the breath flow and life force of the Holy Spirit and receive His gifts and fruits. We can engage in life with eyes of wonder and gratitude in all the ways that He is beckoning us to take a holy adventure with Him. We can flow in our daily lives with Him indwelling within us and enter into a serenade of love with God, one another and all of creation. 

FLOW

F: Follow in Faith

L: Listen and Lean

O: Offering

W: Wait

 

Putting on the Mind of Christ - Reforming our Minds this Lent

JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!

This post was partially written this past Fall, and I have now had time to complete it.  I am hopeful that it can be helpful for this time of Lent as we are called to grow and wander outside of our comfort zones of thought and behavior in the desert with Jesus at our sides. 

Life is a journey and filled with changing seasons and times. We are now officially in the fall season, although here in the desert one might not see as many noticeable differences as triple digits continue to cling to us in some final hot breaths of air. Nonetheless we feel the changes starting to emerge with cooler mornings and evenings beginning to tease our tired heat-weary bodies as promising relief and hope for the near future.  As I look back at this summer, I see that an overarching theme of my spiritual life has been entrustment to God through Our Lady and consenting to God's Divine Will. The pithy theme of consent to be content has been dancing in my head for the past several months, and continues to challenge me in new and unexpected ways as I find areas of entrenched stubbornness and willfulness within my heart.  I consent to what God does in my individual life each morning upon awaking, but as I shared in my last blog, I often find myself railing against the sufferings and injustices that I encounter in other people's journeys.  This took a mini interior crisis to bring my faulty ways of thinking to the surface and allow Jesus to begin to heal these wounds and to root out these areas of pride in my thinking that I know better than the Lord what is best for others. It has been a deeply etched lesson upon my soul that God reveals in Scripture, 

My thoughts are not your thoughts,

    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts. [Is 55:8-9]

This is obviously an ongoing process that may take significant time to root out, but Our Lord is speaking to me about asking him for His mind and His thoughts.  I asked Him how I can begin to surrender into ALL of his plans for myself, others, Holy Mother Church, and all of the cosmos and creation. That is when he brought me to the Scripture verse from St. Paul that exhorts us to "Put on the mind of Christ [Phil 2:5]. He also tells us in 1 Corinthians 2:16 that "You have the mind of Christ."  That sounds promising and it sounds like a definite promise. I'll take it.  With that in mind, I have been imagining myself suiting up for the Lord. I am putting on His armor- specifically my shoes shod with peace, and the helmet of salvation. This helmet contains Jesus' thoughts and ways of mercy, love, justice, tenderness, and righteousness and not mine. By putting on His helmet, I become His soldier but even more so His student. My Divine teacher tells me, "Learn from me for I am meek and humble of heart."  He explains, "No one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son wishes to reveal Him." [Mt 11:27]

This means I must stay close to Jesus, and listen to Him and learn from Him. I must part with my faulty thinking and ways, and become radically open to a new way of  understanding and living. The good news is that even Jesus was said to have grown "in wisdom, knowledge, and grace before God and men."  Of course, this entails study of His Word and the truths that they reveal. For we are told that "Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes forth from the mouth of God." [Mt 4:4].  Jesus lays out the Beatitudes as a schema for life and He presents them in the order of importance as Fr. Jacques Phillipe likes to say. The first thing he shares is "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." There it is. Above intellect, understanding, and reasoning is humility. The first means by which I need to put on that helmet of salvation is not be striving to study my way into heaven and a closer relationship with God, but instead to embrace my littleness and to accept that without Him I can do nothing. Then I can "gird up" my mind in sobriety and filled with hope set "fully upon the grace that is coming" [1 Pet 1:13] to me as from the revelation of Jesus Christ.  

St. Paul encourages us in Christ Jesus to "complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves. Have this in mind among yourselves, which was in Christ Jesus who, though he was in the form of God, did not deem equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant...And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on the cross" [Phil 2:1-3, 5-8].  St. Peter echoes this theme of humility as well by advising us to, "have unity of spirit, sympathy, love of the brethren, a tender heart and a humble mind. Do not return evil or reviling for reviling; but on the contrary bless, for to this you have been called" [1 Pet 3:8-9].

In a culture oozing like an infected wound with its seemingly incessant calls to argue, disagree, attack, point fingers and blame, this is radical advice and healing balm for the soul and mind. It brings us back to our simple humanity and our need for a savior. We cannot figure it all out alone.  Quite often our minds play tricks on us, our perceptions and assumptions about others and various situations are ill-formed and downright false, and we find ourselves trapped in our own cages of narrowness of mind and heart.  

This is where putting on the mind of Christ in the desert landscape and simplicity of Lent can clear the cobwebs of our thoughts and renew the circuits and neural pathways of our damaged thinking patterns, addictive "go-to" assumptions and personal silos of power and protection.  In the desert we leave behind what is unnecessary and we put on garments that are appropriate for the hot days and cool nights.  We have permission to remove the earmuffs that prevent our ability to hear, and we shed the extra layers of unnecessary bling, status labels and impractical heavy and obtrusive layers. It is a time for nakedness. It is a time to allow the Lord to re-clothe us in the garments of His grace and to recloak us in robes of truth and righteousness, kindness, purity, and simplicity. 

By allowing Our Lord to re-clothe us as little children and to embrace a posture of pure receptivity for His plans, words, wisdom, and understanding we can begin to see God, ourselves and others in a new light. We can accept that His ways are not our ways, and He knows better than we do what we all need, and how to realize that plan. We can begin to truly appreciate that each human being shares in the divine image and Presence of God and is a beloved son or daughter who deserves our respect and who carries beautiful gifts from God even if they are buried deep within or we are unable to see them for whatever reason.  

Through wearing these new garments and putting on the mind of Christ, our worldview can begin to change and be transformed into one that has room for all of humanity whose members are all called to live in a beautiful love dance or duet with the Holy Trinity and with one another.  By rejecting the short sightedness of narrow and worldly thinking, we can then be refreshed and "be transformed by the renewing of your mind [Rom 12:2]." We will be able to "put on the new self" and recognize that "Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, salve or free, but Christ is all in all. Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with hearts of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. " [Col 3:10-12].  

The fruit will be a reformed and renewed mind that radiates Christ, that begins to encounter the world with the mind of Christ at work in her and the helmet of salvation upon her head.  Then we can truly enjoy the grace of being "able to test and approve what God's will is - his, good, pleasing and perfect will" [Rom 12:2]. This always comes down to love.