Kite's Crossbeam

JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!


As we are winding down these 40 days of Lent and heading into the Triduum, we may feel prone to assess this special time set aside for prayer, fasting, almsgiving, and our subsequent groanings under the various forms of sacrifice Our Lord has permitted us to experience as a means of growth in virtue, self-knowledge, and most importantly in love for Him and our neighbor.  A spiritual truism was squarely presented to me a week or two ago when meeting with a friend who mentioned her rising awareness that she was trying to control her cross. I felt as if I had been hit squarely between the eyes as I began to process this remark.  Hmmm.  Yes, if I were brave enough to admit it, I was in a free fall, after losing control of my primary cross at this time in my life.  I had thought I was managing "it", and had tucked away all the tricks in recognizing its timing, its behavior, its meaning, its treasures, its tendencies...Maybe not.  This delusional thinking has blown up in my face over the past six weeks or so, as I realized that despite my best efforts to control, it is not in my hands. In the midst of this realization and subsequent temptation to panic and seek to find other means to control my cross, Our Lord has very mercifully and patiently been inviting me to a deeper surrender into the mystery of His suffering and His Divine Will.  He is asking me to explore the hinterlands of these unpredictable experiences which touch the very fabric of life itself and cause such fear and anxiety within me, as He holds my hand and shows me the way through the darkness of the unknown.

I was struck by the image of a kite, and its crossbeam in the middle. I remembered being on a beautiful stretch of beach in the Outer Banks of North Carolina when my husband and I were first married. Chad had just received a trick kite that had sophisticated strings, pulleys, and multiple beams to support the shape of the kite.  He operated the kite with lots of mastery and skills as the kite glided on the ocean breeze and we watched it dance with the wind.  When I asked if I could try it, we saw that a storm was fast approaching.  I took the two strings to control the kite, but found with my lack of training and the incoming adverse weather, that the kite was darting and diving beyond my control. I had to let go in order to avoid catastrophe and wounding my dear husband's head!  

After sharing this conversation a couple of weeks ago, this image has been etched on my mind.  The solution of letting go has seared itself upon my very being. I wrote the following poem to express just a little of the interior significance of this insight.  

Kite's cross-beam
Giving shape to this morphing figurement
Gliding across the sky.
Manipulating strings with deft fingers,
Directing its flow and course
As it drifts seemingly freely across the horizon.
Dodging tress, darting through low nimbus clouds
wrestling the wind's powerful and
Bombastic flaring with intentional
Abandon.

Until, that forceful gale,
Roaring like a lion, overtakes my planned 
Directives, and casts me to the ground.
String snatched from outstretched hand,
Dangling ever higher into its reaches
Kite lost in the symphony of carefree and
Combative current as a whistling banshee. 




Soaring higher and more dangerously close to
Disasters awaiting:
Cliffs, trees, foamy ocean waves, 
Children at play.
Beyond one's grasp, 
Brutal reality emerges.
Outer material torn asunder.
No control.
No direction.
No strings. 
No attachments.
The crossbeams 
Remain the sole support.
The Cross.
Only. 

Being Nursed in the Desert

JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!

So we find ourselves about half-way through our forty-day journey of Lent. Some of us may be feeling invigorated while others may be weary and worn or at a stand-still.  For many, it can be a time of desolation, deeper interior struggles and temptations, or just a time of increased silence.  As Hosea reminds us, Our Lord seeks this time of a one-on-one encounter as a time to solidify our relationship and gift us with clarity, light, and truth amidst such spiritual nakedness, if only we will consent to it. "Therefore, behold I will allure her, and will lead her into the wilderness: and I will speak to her heart." [Hos 2:14]

The goods news is that even in the seeming barrenness of the desert, there is a very subtle and sometimes unseen support system.  The nurse plant is one such example of a natural shelter that can be almost imperceptible or unnoticeable, but is very much present and essential to the growth of cacti and other desert dwelling plants.  The nurse plants are according to Science Direct  those plants, "that facilitate the growth and development of other plant species (target species) beneath their canopy because they offer benign microhabitats that are more favorable for seed germination and/or seedling recruitment than their surrounding environment. Nurse plants have been mainly used to restore vegetation in arid and sub-arid zones." [See https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1002007107000202] Another publication states that, "Facilitation by nurse plants is a common interaction in harsh environments and this positive plant–plant interaction may promote vegetation recovery in ecosystems affected by human activities."  https://academic.oup.com/jpe/article/9/5/485/2222588

Aah...What an image of relief this brings to my inner being.  I think we can all relate to sometimes feeling spiritually or emotionally fatigued and beat up by our modern-day culture and environment, or just in need of a boost in the midst of the much-needed purgation and purification commonly experienced in the spiritual life.  First, it is helpful to consider the word 'nurse' itself.  According to etymology, it is of late Middle English as a contraction of earlier nourice, from Old French, from late Latin nutricia, feminine of Latin nutricius ‘(person) that nourishes,’ from nutrix, nutric- ‘nurse,’ from nutrire ‘nourish.’ The verb was originally a contraction of nourish, altered under the influence of the noun. I believe that the key phrase here is to nourish.  While we are out in the desert, we remain nourished, even if it be impercibly by the living waters of grace, the seeds of prayer and hope that are granted to us even if they are hidden and buried in the midst of the dust of aridity.  Such shelter may be found amongst three primary sources, I believe.

First and foremost, we are nourished by the Eucharist. The Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us that  this Sacrament "nourishes the disciple with Christ's Body and Blood for his transformation in Christ." Yes. Even if we receive Our Lord's body, blood, soul, and divinity and remain steeped in aridity, its supernatural grace sustains and elevates our spirit. It nurses us to life, to purification, and transformation. It enables us to listen more clearly when Our Lord approaches us in the silence of the desert, 'to speak to our hearts.'  Furthermore, As bodily nourishment restores lost strength, so the Eucharist strengthens our charity, which tends to be weakened in daily life; and this living charity wipes away venial sins.²³¹ By giving Himself to us Christ revives our love and enables us to break our disordered attachments to creatures and root ourselves in him. [1394] What better spiritual canopy could we have, than this supernatural bread that enables the virtues to germinate in our hearts?

Saint Pope JPII furthers this concept in his encyclical letter "Ecclesia Eucharistia" that tells us that through partaking in Mass and receiving the Holy Eucharist, 

We are reminded of his words: “As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so he who eats me will live because of me” (Jn 6:57). Jesus himself reassures us that this union, which he compares to that of the life of the Trinity, is truly realized. The Eucharist is a true banquet, in which Christ offers himself as our nourishment. When for the first time Jesus spoke of this food, his listeners were astonished and bewildered, which forced the Master to emphasize the objective truth of his words: “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life within you” (Jn 6:53). This is no metaphorical food: “My flesh is food indeed, and my blood is drink indeed” (Jn 6:55).  

Furthermore, we are promised that through  our communion in his body and blood, that Christ also grants us his Spirit. Saint Ephrem writes: “He called the bread his living body and he filled it with himself and his Spirit...  He who eats it with faith, eats Fire and Spirit... Take and eat this, all of you, and eat with it the Holy Spirit. For it is truly my body and whoever eats it will have eternal life”.²⁷  This is confirmed in the Roman Missal when the celebrant prays: “grant that we who are nourished by his body and blood may be filled with his Holy Spirit, and become one body, one spirit in Christ”.²⁹ 

Thus, by the gift of his body and blood Christ increases within us the gift of his Spirit, already poured out in Baptism and bestowed as a “seal” in the sacrament of Confirmation. [#16, 17] It is evident that given this divine sacramental gift, we are truly never alone. 

The second nurse plant in our Lenten journey in the desert is the Word, which forms the very foundation of the sacraments. We know that the the sacraments are prepared and instituted through the Living Word by the faith, and that Jesus is the Word. [See CCC # 1122]  How profound are the first few lines of St. John's Gospel, which declare the most sublime of truths and mysteries:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome[a] it. 

We are reminded in Hebrews, "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." [Heb 4:12]  As a consequence, when we are out in the desert perhaps feeling the utmost of vulnerability and a lack of preparedness, we have this moving and dynamic Word which creates all things, which blows like the wind in the howling desert. Despite our greatest fears, it is not without purpose, but instead sustains and fortifies even in the darkness and solitude of our hearts.   "The wind blows (breathes) where it wills; and though you hear its sound, yet you neither know where it comes from nor where it is going. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit." John 3:8

The third nurse plant that surrounds and shelters our very being is our beloved Blessed Mother.  She assures us that she seeks to protect us and has been given permission to 'crush the head of Satan' when temptations arise or we feel accosted by fear, doubt, or even despair.  In her fourth apparition to St. Juan Diego as Our Lady of Guadalupe, as he approached the perimeter of the desert-like landscape of Tepeyac hill and sought to avoid meeting her due to his uncle's severe illness, she listened to his concerns and then responded,

"Listen, put it into your heart, my youngest son, that what frightens you, what afflicted you is nothing; do not let it disturb your face, your heart; do not fear this sickness nor any other sickness, nor any sharp or hurtful thing. Am I not here, I who have the honor to be your Mother? Are you not in my shadow and under my protection? Am I not the source of your joy? Are you not in the hollow of my mantle, in the crossing of my arms? Do you need something more?" [See Anderson, C. Our Lady of Guadalupe: Mother of the Civilization of Love, p. 16]

Our Lady's very words drip with nurturing warmth, and the desire to protect and take care of us as our nurse.  What words of comfort and wisdom St. Juan Diego received that day, and which we gather into our hearts now.  She is our Celestial Mother and Queen, and she seeks to nurse our wounds and bring us ever closer to Her Beloved Son, the Word and source of nourishment itself as found in the Eucharist.  

Related to this image of our Lady as Nurse, It should be noted that Our Lady Nursing or Our Lady of Milk/Lactan, was a very popular image depicted throughout the Middle Ages.  As a Mother nurses her young, so she wishes to nourish and nurture us at her breasts. 

Brussel Hours, see http://www.faksimile.de/international/editions/productdetail.php?we_objectID=358.

St. Ephraem wrote in Hymns on the Nativity:

Mary bore a mute Babe
though in Him were hidden all our tongues.
Joseph carried Him,
yet hidden in Him was a silent nature older than everything.
The Lofty One became like a little child,
yet hidden in Him was a treasure of Wisdom that suffices for all.
He was lofty
but He sucked Mary's milk,
and from His blessings all creation sucks.
He is the Living Breast of living breath;
by His life the dead were suckled, and they revived.
Without the breath of air no one can live;
without the power of the Son no one can rise.
Upon the living breath of the One Who vivifies all
depend the living beings above and below.
As indeed He sucked Mary's milk,
He has given suck -- life to the universe.
As again He dwelt in His mother's womb,
in His womb dwells all creation.
Mute He was as a babe,
yet He gave to all creation all His commands.
For without the First-Born no one is able to approach Being,
for He alone is capable of it.

As we continue the second half of our Lenten journey, let us remember the prophetic words of Isaiah, "Be joyful with Jerusalem and rejoice for her, all you who love her; Be exceedingly glad with her, all you who mourn over her, 11That you may nurse and be satisfied with her comforting breasts, That you may suck and be delighted with her bountiful bosom." 12For thus says the LORD, "Behold, I extend peace to her like a river, And the glory of the nations like an overflowing stream; And you will be nursed, you will be carried on the hip and fondled on the knees.…"  [Is 66:10-12] 

Indeed, we may be out in the furthest reaches of the desert, but we are never lost or left without a nurse plant that shields us, protects and shelters us . We are promised a King, who "will be like a refuge from the wind And a shelter from the storm, Like streams of water in a dry country, Like the shade of a huge rock in a parched land. " [Is 32:2]

May we carry on our way in confidence, utilizing the nuse plants given to us by Our Lord and Holy Mother Church as found in the Eucharist, the Word, and Our Blessed Virgin Mary..May we gather at her abundant breasts and be assured of Her shelter and protection from harm, and know that upon the arrival of Eastertide, "Wherefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature: the old things are passed away; behold, they are become new." [2 Cor 5:17]