Tears as Wellsprings of Grace

JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!

Today we celebrate the Memorial of Our Lady of Sorrows in which we commemorate the many sufferings Our Lady endured upon giving her fiat and becoming Theotokos.  Traditionally, her seven sorrows or dolors consist of the prophesy of Simeon that a sword of sorrow would pierce her heart; the Holy Family's flight into Egypt as political refugees; the losing of the Child Jesus in the Temple area; the Way of the Cross; the Crucifixion and Death of Our Lord Jesus; the Descent of Jesus from the Cross; and the burial/entombment of Jesus. One can only dimly understand the intense sorrow that Our Lady must have experienced at seeing her beloved Son and long-awaited Savior of the World rejected and suffering from the time of His infancy until His dying breath in order to set us free from our sins, limitations and transgressions. As the Immaculata, it is certain that her capacity for sorrow was heightened and the depth and breadth of these sacrifices more keenly understood as the Timeless Woman who was hailed as being "full of grace."  Her eyes, ears, mind, hands and heart were in a perpetual posture of openness and receptivity that enabled her to receive the mystery and love of God in the purest sense possible in her humanity.  Blessed Mother could feel deeply in the fullness of each of these distressing events as they unfolded due to her purity of heart and her sensitivity to all  things pertaining to God, others, and herself, and in her vocation as wife of St. Joseph and mother of Jesus.

In our human experience, we can perhaps relate in our own smaller ways to the Our Spiritual Mama's sorrows as we experience the daily tragedies, disappointments, destruction, discord, and brokenness within our own hearts as well as as what we see in our families, communities, country and the greater world.  We see the hurting hearts of humanity and can only imagine the immense sorrow that Our Lord and Our Lady continue to feel as they witness how lost  Abba's children have become upon the journey of life and how we pierce the Sacred Heart of Jesus and cause Him such sorrow and pain.  Pondering such tristesse can cause us to feel overwhelmed, perhaps even verging upon hopelessness, as we wonder how such sorrows can be resolved and when we will be able to enjoy the heavenly banquet when God "will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passes away." [Rev 21:4]

I want to look at these inevitable sorrows of our lives through the lens of tears, which are the body's way of cleansing the heart and spirit of the anguish we experience in our lives. On a neurobiological level, there are three types of tears known as reflexive, continual, and emotive or psychic. The first two ensure that noxious chemicals and irritants are flushed from your eyes and that they remain lubricated.  The third type of psychic tears are structurally different on a molecular level and contain neurotransmitters with natural opioids that ease and numb the pain associated with tears of sadness.  How fascinating it is that in Hebrew, the word for tears is dema or dimah which comes from the root word dalet (meaning door or pathway), mem (meaning water), ayin (meaning eyes). One can go even further than this in noting the correlation between the following Hebrew words:

   - Adam [man]; adama [ground]; dam [blood]; adom [red]; dema [tears]

This suggests that we were created for the capacity to cry, and just as we shed blood when we have experienced physical pain, so we shed tears with spiritual and emotional pain indicating an injury to the soul.  This literally means that our tears are "blood of the eyes". 

This speaks of vulnerability and a profound offering of the very center and core of one's being that are released and offered when crying.  Our Lady of Sorrows' tears were clearly expressing the deepest center of her Immaculate love, motherhood and femininity. Her maternal tears were as an offering to the Father that expressed the most fundamental suffering of her soul as she watched the sorrows predicted by Simeon unfold over time and which freely flowed to be collected in the palm of God's Hands..  

In The Eternal Woman by Gertrud von Le Fort, she speaks of this inevitable grief in a mother's life and as experienced by Our Lady in being the Mother of the Christ Child. "Every mother's destiny is, in the last analysis, the unending renewal of the pangs of giving birth. To give life to a child means fundamentally that the child detaches itself from her life...There is no loneliness on earth like that of a mother; she is not being parted from some other loved one, but the sword that pierces her heart separates her from her own flesh and blood."  [p.99] Fulton Sheen develops this further in The World's First Love by explaining that love is inseparable from sorrow and Our Lady would taste many tears due to her perfection in living out this love. 

Therefore, such tears are never wasted but are instead like precious pearls that shine before God.  They nourish the earth for a future time of bloom and harvest. Time again this release of tears from the heart reaches the throne of heaven and is transformed into deeper intimacy and healing. God tells Isaiah to communicate to Hezekiah, "I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears (dima-teka). I will surely heal you. " [2 Kgs 20:5] and we are reassured by the Psalmist that God  "delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears (dimah), my feet from stumbling"[Ps 116:8] and that the Lord has even placed our tears within his bottle [Ps 56:8].

This is why it is essential that we mourn and weep. Jesus Himself assures us that "blessed are those who mourn and weep, for they shall be comforted." [Mt 5:4] Indeed, our bodies and spirits are made for it. Tears heal our souls and touch the compassionate Heart of God Himself.  If we plug up our emotions and sorrows causing these interior fountains of heartfelt sadness to become frozen, we become stuck and stymied. We are unable to move forward in trust amidst the sorrow. We become bitter and resentful amidst the transformational and mysterious power of the Cross in our lives.  Just as an infant cries when in need as one totally dependent upon his or her mother (or father), so we as needy supplicants cry out to God in union with our Celestial Mother and Queen for relief.  The  power found in such cries of the heart become potent reminders of our utter dependence upon God, and can move mountains and the very Divine Will and Breath of God.  In such moments, our utter helplessness meets God's omnipotence, His merciful Heart, and HIs Divine Provision to provide for us as children.  This spiritual reality has been noted among one researcher who shares his stunning findings that, "prayer is the adult manifestation of infantile crying" and that the brain's neural activity is similar between one and the two. [See House of Weeping https://www.sbl-site.org/assets/pdfs/pubs/9780884143512.pdf].

This release from the bowels or our being can become pools of lifegiving drink and living waters, to such an extent that the Eastern Church holds the charism of the gift of tears as expressed in prayer to be the highest spiritual charism as it signifies a baptism or rebirth in the Holy Spirit.  It indicates a softening of the heart and an openness and receptivity to receive and accept the gifts that Our Lord holds for us in every situation.  It is an infusion of grace expressed in our teardrops that communicates profound love for the Holy Trinity, and it transforms our sorrows, failings, disappointments, and fears into a quiet joy and abiding with the Lord and an oasis within the landscape of our souls as we continue our pilgrimage on earth.  Our tears are little baptismal fonts that bring us to the fountain of God Himself.  The Virgin Mary teaches us how to surrender into the profound sufferings and sorrows of our lives, in order for them to be transformed and transfigured into the Resurrection and our own rebirth moments.  By embracing the sorrows, we continue upon the path of the Paschal mystery in our lives. We appear naked and vulnerable before God and others, and this enables new possibilities, vistas, and doors to be opened.

We share in Our Lady's sorrows today as we remember her dolors and the excruciating pain she must have felt in seeing Jesus misunderstood, mistreated, and finally fully rejected to the point of becoming the Lamb of God slain upon the Cross for our sins and transgressions. Amidst this almost unimaginable tragedy is the quiet knowing that her tears throughout all these events were as childlike prayers to the Lord that were received by Him, and which moved His Heart of Compassion and Mercy to new life for all of humanity.  Such is the case with our own tears, as we cry out "Jesus" and "Abba, Father." He listens to our cries, He collects our tears, and He comforts us. Through our tears, He draws us to Himself upon the Cross.  Such heartfelt tears are then never wasted but become a wellspring of grace. So let us embrace them as they roll down our cheeks and water the interior gardens of our souls. 

Ascent to the Cross, Our Only Hope

JMJT! Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and Forever!

This reflection was first published with the Oxford Centre for Applied Carmelite Spirituality Lent 2021.

God's Creative Beauty

I must admit that I am enamored with birds. Their beauty, effortless flight, graceful movements, and melodic calls and warbling captivate my attention and stir my soul upward with their ascent. When I watch them, I taste an interior freedom and desire to glide in the wind, with carefree abandon.  God has spoken to me many times of what it means to hope and enjoy true freedom of spirit through these feathered friends.

^{Several years ago, I watched transfixed during one early morning hike as the sun rose in the east over the dusty desert mountain-tops of Arizona, and two ravens circled overhead, cawing to one another while carrying straw in their black beaks for nest-building. To my delight, they began swooping in patterns and loops.  With my eyes wide and my mouth agape, I observed in amazement as the two began to perform pirouettes and somersaults in the sky like a circus act on a trapeze! I thought I might need a bit of coffee to clear my head, but there they were continuing their performance as if starring members of Cirque du Soleil.  To say that I was mesmerized by such antics would be an understatement! It was a spectacle that I shall never forget, and enamored my spirit to that primal desire to fly, if not physically than at least spiritually.}

^{More recently, on a recent hike through the mountains, a red-tailed hawk caught my attention as he glided in the wind above our well-hewn trail in a graceful freedom that was absolutely breath-taking. He captured my attention, and I yearned to join this majestic bird in a free-flight of spirit. What would it be like to just glide effortlessly through the clouds and gaze upon the earth with a literal bird’s eye view?  The Lord whispered interiorly that He desires to grant this wish of my heart, but to do so requires a letting go of all that weighs me down.  He reminded me of what St. John of the Cross says, “The soul that is attached to anything however much good there may be in it will not arrive at the liberty of divine union. For whether it be a strong wire rope or a slender and delicate thread that holds the bird, it matters not, if it really holds it fast; for until the cord be broken the bird cannot fly.”} 

^{The Dynamics of Hope}

^{Hope has an ascending dynamism which has led it to be compared to a bird. Emily Dickinson penned “Hope is the thing with feathers” to suggest just that:} 

^{Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul}

^{___ that sings the tune without the words}

^{___ and never stops at all.}

^{The dove on Noah’s ark brought back a sign of hope with the olive branch carried in his beak, indicating that dry land was within distance and God had kept His promise.  Even the mythological bird of the phoenix dying amidst fire and ashes, to then experience renewal and rebirth is a story of hope.  So how much more is the Cross of Jesus Christ, Our Savior and Redeemer suspended above the earth, who as the cosmic eternal source of all hope invites us to lay down our attachments, egos, and baggage in order to be free to fly with Him in the fullness of life?}

^{We are told in The Catechism of the Catholic Church that hope is a theological virtue, “by which we desire the kingdom of heaven and eternal life as our happiness, placing our trust in Christ's promises and relying not on our own strength, but on the help of the grace of the Holy Spirit. Hope is an aspiration to happiness which God has placed in the heart of every man [CCC 1817-1818.] Hope is such a strong desire based upon faith that it serves as a catalyst for our activities and purifies them towards the Kingdom of heaven, opening one’s heart in expectation of eternal life. Hope is so powerful that it is not only a theological virtue, but a form of eros or desire for ultimate union with Our Triune God which holds the ultimate purpose for every human being.  Such upward arrows of hopeful desire [eros] are found in various forms of goodness, beauty, and truth, and are expressed as urgent longings that lift us up in flight with the Holy Spirit like a bird and carries us towards the Eternal.}

^{The Lord affirms that the gift of hope and the desires of our hearts anchored upon faith are indeed pleasing to Him and come from the Spirit. St. Paul tells us just that in Romans 5:3-5 “we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and this hope does not disappoint us, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit.”  Such hope is the fruit of trial and perseverance, which then takes flight to something desired but not yet seen. [See Heb 11:1] How fitting, when we examine the root meanings of hope in English and Hebrew.   In late Old English the root word for hope [hopa] refers to "confidence in the future," especially "God or Christ as a basis for hope.”  It also denotes an "expectation of something desired;" along with "trust, confidence; wishful desire."  Interestingly, the word for hope in Hebrew (Tikvah), means not only expectation but also a cord or rope, from a root word that means to bind or to wait for or upon.}

^{So when we cooperate with the Lord’s grace in severing the last thread here upon earth in order that we can be free to fly with Our Beloved, we anchor ourselves upon the Cross and tether ourselves to our First Love.  We no longer place our trust “in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save” but instead turn to the Lord, who remains faithful forever [Ps 146], and who has known us before we were born, knitting us together in our mother’s womb [Ps 139]. For it is the Lord who promises us, “I know the plans I have for you…, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope [Tikvah] and a future.”}

^{Jesus expresses His deep desire for this flight to take place when He tell us, “When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw everyone to myself.” [Jn 12:32] This magnetic drawing of us towards Himself upon the Cross suggests that all the extraneous disordered attachments of our lives -the false masks and identities, ego, material possessions, deformed memory, intellect and will, must be placed in His Precious Wounds and die with Him right there, where all of it falls to the ground and becomes a burnt offering.  Just as the wheat can only bear fruit when it has fallen to the ground, so must we be willing to leave it all behind, for it to be burned away and for fruitfulness to occur.}

^{The Wound  of Love}

^{This delicate surgery is performed using the precise instrument of the Cross. These are the moments we dread- when not only can we not fly, but sometimes cannot even crawl.  We are like birds with broken wings and plucked feathers who are immobilized as unexpected illness, an untimely death of a loved one, grief over a loss of job, dreams deferred, relationships ruined wash over our wounded bodies and souls. Even the simple expectations that we had been counting on are incinerated as the mundane and unfulfilled gaping holes in our hearts are exposed. As we are stripped and begin to lay these situations down one by one, we find ourselves lifted high upon the Cross, united with Jesus Crucified.}

^{The more we battle and struggle with Him, the more our wings become injured. Conversely, the more we surrender and entrust ourselves to Him with the cords of hope that cling to Him and His Cross, the more liberated we become.  With such cords we begin to build a nest on the altar of the Cross just as the swallows do [See Ps 84:3], in hopeful expectation of our ultimate freedom and wholeness. We cry out in groanings and lamentations with the Psalmist,}

Have mercy on me, O God, in your goodness;
in the greatness of your compassion wipe out my offense.
⁴ Thoroughly wash me from my guilt
and cleanse me from my sin.
¹² A clean heart create for me, O God,
renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹³ Cast me not away from your presence,
nor deny me your Holy Spirit. [Ps 51: 3-4,12-13]

^{As we abandon ourselves more fully in humility to this purification process, hoisting the rope of hope upon the four corners of the Holy Cross, the more weightless we become.  We encounter the holy kiss of the Cross where merciful love and faithfulness embrace and justice and peace kiss. [Ps 85:10] The Cross becomes a lever of freedom, the wounds of Christ a shelter and refuge as we unite our sufferings with His own. United with Jesus on the “marriage bed” of the Holy Cross, we lean into the Crucified Christ and unite our wounds with His own where this sacrificial love becomes a fruitful rebirth in a springtime of renewal and hope.}

^{The Hope of the Cross}

^{One somber morning on Good Friday, my daughter and I were walking to a Rosary rally to pray with our bishop for life. I was startled when I spied a tiny ruby-throated hummingbird seemingly dead next to the sidewalk. I was deeply saddened as I have always had a special love for these little creatures, and encounter them as little signs given to me of Our Heavenly Father’s Divine Providence, His healing, protection and the movement of the Holy Spirit. I wanted to gather it up and take it home to bury it, but we decided to stop afterwards to do so. After our prayer, we proceeded to walk back, and I was stunned by my discovery! The hummingbird no longer appeared dead upon the ground, but was now alighted upon a branch and began to energetically gather nectar in his proboscis beak with wings aflutter. I was absolutely astonished when I later learned that the hummingbird is a sign of resurrection, and that it sleeps in a state of torpor during which its body temperature plummets in order that it can protect itself and regain its energy. Although it is near death, it rises again to continue. And so it is with our own lives in the deepest recesses of our souls, along with our hopes, dreams and desires.}

^{This is the power of what Jesus promises each of us today and every day, “Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there also will my servant be” [Jn 12:25-26].  Let us therefore cry out with the Bride in the Song of Songs, “Draw us Lord, and we shall run….Lift me up, Lord, upon the Cross and bind me with your cords of love, and we shall fly.”  Then we can boldly proclaim, Ave Crux Spes Unica - Hail to the Cross, Our Only Hope.}